, is a criticism. It can hurt your feelings and affect your self-esteem. Sometimes criticism is so upsetting that you accept even unfair comments and worry about it. We learn to respond correctly to critical comments from our boss and colleagues.

In fact, criticism can be both realistic and fair and unfounded. You can criticize tactfully or harshly, in private or in front of an audience. And it happens that a person behaves incorrectly. In some cases, this behavior becomes the standard pattern. Let's look at several ways to respond to criticism: fair and unfair.

How to respond to fair criticism

Accept criticism. The simplest thing is to agree with the comments without showing guilt, making excuses or apologizing. We all make mistakes, and the best thing to do is admit the mistake, correct it, draw the necessary conclusions and move on. They say that those who do nothing make no mistakes.

Supervisor:"You didn't do a very good job."
You:“Yes, I agree. I’ll try to change it.”

Another option is to accept the negative feedback but immediately ask for more information from the critic. Ask any clarifying questions—absolutely any—about what you hear. In fact, it doesn't matter what you ask - with this technique you "dilute" the criticism and demonstrate that you are confident and in control of the situation.

Supervisor:"You didn't have a very good meeting."
You:“Yes, it wasn’t very effective. In your opinion, did the problems arise at the beginning of the meeting or later?”

What to do if criticism is unfair?

For various reasons, undeserved criticism hurts more than fair criticism. Familiarize yourself with three types of reactions to unfair criticism, not forgetting that life is unfair to everyone. Then unpleasant the situation will pass less painful.

Disagree with criticism. The main thing is to remain calm and friendly. Pause briefly and then gently disagree with the comment. For example:

Colleague:"You're always late for meetings."
You:“Well, I’m not always late... It may have happened once or twice, but I’m definitely not always late.”

Ask for more information. You can ask follow-up questions in a friendly and enthusiastic manner to get more information until your critic regrets ever bringing up the topic!

Avoid a direct answer. Try to avoid a direct answer, veil the situation, let it become unclear; do not deny or confirm anything, do not give your critic information that he could cling to. This way his remarks will miss the mark. From the outside it looks like the criticism was accepted, but had virtually no effect on you. This behavior discourages undeserved criticism of you in the future.

With a little practice you can master this art. Words like “maybe”, “probably”, “maybe” will make any topic vague. Or try answering using the following phrases: “You may be right, things happen...”, “It’s hard to say for sure...”, “There is some truth in what you say...”

How to deal with hidden criticism?

Sometimes colleagues or managers express comments and complaints openly, and this can be quite difficult to deal with. But from time to time we all face hidden criticism - manipulation and indirect aggression. Sometimes people don't even realize that they are saying offensive and unpleasant things. You know how it goes. Here are some examples:

- Don't worry, leave everything as it is. I'll take care of it myself.
-Are you sure your method is the best?
“Haven’t you finished your report yet?”

Comments of this kind are usually made in a friendly manner, sometimes even with a smile, but there is a vague feeling that you have been criticized, although you are not entirely sure of this. This is the “smiling killer”. You are lost in search of an answer, and in the meantime the moment has passed. Or perhaps you instinctively sense that you are being attacked and display irritation and anger. However, the interlocutor immediately takes on an astonished look and says something like:

- What? What did I say? “I didn’t mean that at all... you’re overreacting.”
- You made it all up... you're so touchy... you have a problem with perception.

Such comments make a person feel unimportant and undermine his self-confidence. Remember, such critical comments towards you can become a habit if you allow them, as it is difficult to prove that they are insults or aggression. So how should you respond to them?

The best way is to calmly, dispassionately and without threatening to let the interlocutor understand that you perfectly understand the background of his statements.

Having received such a rebuff once, most people will retreat and are unlikely to want to repeat this trick. Colleagues only behave insultingly towards you when you let them do it. Before transferring such a situation into reality, rehearse your behavior. However, only use this method if your reaction does not cause undesirable consequences. You can agree with the remark - openly, but quite dispassionately

, and accompany it with a calm comment, as in example 1 from the following table. You can respond to an unclear statement with an equally vague phrase.

This is how you covertly acknowledge hidden criticism, as in examples 2 and 3. Avoiding a direct answer will “disarm” your opponent and even disappoint him, since he will not understand whether his criticism has achieved its goal. Here are examples different types

reactions to the three cases of implicit criticism described earlier.

Discussion

Note useful article!!!

There are some things you can take away for yourself. Thank you!

Comment on the article "Are you being criticized? How to respond to attacks: 8 situations"

Closer to the age of 40, I came to the realization that, in addition to negativity, parental attacks and the main thing is not how you criticize, but what you feel at the same time - love or anger. We discuss situations, and I simply say that it seems to me that it would be better to do it this way rather than that.

Yesterday after work I went with my “groom”, looking for me a dress for his sister’s anniversary, it’s 7:30 p.m., a bell rings in the car, I turn on the speakerphone, the older man yells at the whole salon in a hysterical voice: “Where are you hanging around again?! I’m hungry! " I answer briefly that I’m going shopping, there’s food in the refrigerator, heat it up and eat, samsus, I’ll be there soon... When I pass out, my man laments so sadly: “It’s high time we registered our relationship and live together, your own son is already calling you a whore! " I'm outraged that... This is how to react if my mother accuses me of sending my children to camp so that I can “spend more time with my little... y...em”?! O_O The camps are interesting, educational, one with additional activities for 2 weeks, the other is a tourism and survival school for 12 days... Now they are relaxing at English Camp and don’t even call or write on their own initiative, they are very busy! I’m going to go to Parents’ Day on Sunday... I don’t show up at home, I work, I spend the night with my man, so again my mother is indignant...

The letter contains some article from a women's magazine, a typical canard about “never criticize your husband, give him more compliments and always be beautiful and sexy.” It’s all said here. Well, in general, the author answers all the pressing questions in life.

The other day I asked Soup how his job search was going?! He answered: “No way... Help, if you can, I will be grateful!” In principle, I have a couple of benefactor friends who owe me something, and I can puzzle them with the employment of my ex-husband... Tomorrow I’ll even go out with one of them at a New Year’s corporate party, a good time for such a request... But it’s necessary is this for me?! :/ On the one hand, children will receive normal alimony, and not the pitiful 9tr, the popularization of parasitism and home economics will stop...

The path to sustainable success, especially in a crisis situation, both personal and public, is self-esteem with a “plus” sign. Not with a “!” sign, which means inadequacy, but with a calm “+”. I successfully failed my future achievements, underestimating myself, in private business and, on the contrary, I broke through in politics when I was confident in myself. So, effective self-esteem is the path to success. You can believe me, because I walked this path to the end, feeling like an ugly duckling until the age of 30, and only after 40...

Today I was in court to get a stamp on the entry into force of the decision and performance list... They spent 45 minutes looking for my file, while they were rummaging through all the piles, it turned out that soup arrived yesterday, I ordered 5 copies of the court decision! He said that he was going to change jobs, let them have spare ones... :/ He asked for my details for transferring alimony, he was going to provide them and the decision to his accounting department for payments... And they told me that I needed to take a writ of execution and go to the bailiffs , there...

Today my mother calls me at work... All in disheveled feelings... :(While she was feeding her grandchildren lunch, my father-in-law came to us with grapes from his garden... She called us for tea, word for word, and the father of the soup said that “I suffered too much during the divorce, they kicked his son out of his own house, and all the family heirlooms given to him remained here, these vases from my late grandmother, this set from my beloved mother-in-law” O_O I came home from work, the first thing I did was pack it “ a rare set" and handed it to the children...

An unpleasant situation happened to us the other day.. On Friday we were walking home from the site, from the window of the 9th floor, first an apple was thrown at us, which fell next to Dasha, and then a bag of water, which flew ten centimeters from Timka’s head. . This already happened once, a couple of years ago, we suspected the wrong apartment then... but that’s in the past... this time, half an hour before us, they threw an egg at the car of a friend who had just parked... well, actually me. I’m standing looking at the windows, I...

Think what you want, I won’t force anyone to respond to the topic. Some debts, attacks on him, it is necessary to save him from creditors... When he attacks the adopted person, criticizes and ridicules him, try seriously asking him: “Do you think so?

When I was little, my mother often told friends and acquaintances: “I trust my daughter, she never lies to me! If she said something, then it is so!” I don’t know intentionally or accidentally, but she often said this phrase in my presence. And I was filled with a sense of pride... and responsibility... and I wasn’t lying. I just couldn’t, because my mother TRUSTED me!!! A simple pedagogical technique, but it worked! I still don’t know whether my mother came up with it or read it somewhere. And I always thought that with my...

Today Vasilisa, her mother, brought me. As usual, I opened the car door, the right one at the back, and my daughter was sitting there. He smiles and I see pleasure in his eyes. As usual, Vasilisa’s mother punishes me, so and so, to put me to bed immediately, give me kefir and read a book. I obey and say ok. Vasilisa’s mother went, and Vasilisa stuck out her finger and said: Dad, I urgently need to put me to bed and give me kefir. It is important to be as straight as her mother. I, too, obeying with irony, say okay and we go into the house. A...

list from the previous post: what needs to be discussed with the nanny when she starts working in your family. 7. Communication with strangers. It is best to write a list of those who can open the apartment door (this could be your relatives, friends, neighbors), discuss the possibility of the nanny receiving her own guests, how and when she should coordinate this with the employer. Tell her that during walks she must carefully choose children (parents, nannies) to communicate with from the point of view of lack of...

not to answer her questions regarding her personal life, or to answer evasively. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but so far I haven’t found another way out to stop attacking my husband 04/03/2011 22:52:28, Winter sleep. Or has this already happened? The situation is very clear and you are not alone...

There is no talk about attacks at all... That’s how interesting it turns out... I asked one question, and they answered me with a completely different one, accusing me of all mortal sins, and that I was the last one. The answers were addressed to me personally, not as the author of the top, but as the main participant in the situation.

150 comments. I like it when people criticize me. I have a normal attitude, I’m interested in views on the situation from all sides. thank you :-), I didn’t know... I didn’t study the possibilities, since for now it was enough for me to just write and answer without registering..... about...

What can we say about Petrovna’s situation... as one confistress once said: “When I’m tired of questions about why I took it, I suggest not answering only _ attacks that are not on business_, which do not carry any meaning other than the desire for why kick a person.

And therefore, he takes any attacks from anyone very painfully. Today there was a waste paper collection at school. Let me add this! This situation is a test for us mothers to see if we can protect our children. This then pays off for us with care and...

Perhaps I’m too sharp-tongued, but how can I sit and not react to outright unfair attacks and rabid rudeness? Say “rudeness” - they will answer you EXACTLY with rudeness, even if before that there was a borderline situation.

And WHAT should you be criticized for if you behave normally and kindly? Here, Hel, is a clear example that your principle does not apply to all situations and not to all people. This is not a hit-and-run.

“Is it possible to talk to your mother like that, boy?”, “Who’s screaming like that?” - favorite remarks of strangers towards your child. Some passers-by really like to make comments to other people's children. In this case, how should a parent behave?

First you need to prioritize

The easiest way is to shake your head reproachfully, agreeing with stranger, or reprimand your child for a committed offense, maybe even a minor one. Most often, parents do just that. They scold the baby and forget about this situation in a few minutes. But children remember this. It seems to you that the child doesn’t care, but look at the situation from the outside - you, in fact, go over to the side of the offenders, strangers and strangers, and together with them you scold your own child! Is this not betrayal?

Imagine the situation: in a hurry, a young wife paints her eyes and as a result the arrows turn out crooked. She and her husband enter the elevator and the neighbor begins to comment: “Did you see how your wife failed the arrows? Does she look in the mirror or what?” And the husband, instead of taking the side of his other half, will answer: “Yes, she’s incompetent, she always makes her eyes look like that!”

Is this really an absurd and funny situation? And this is exactly what adults do with a child. Before reacting immediately to a provocation from a random passer-by about your baby, think about who is more dear to you - some aunt or your child?

Guilty or not guilty?

If strangers give you advice or make comments on the matter, you should understand when to listen to their comments and when to ignore them. After all, people are sometimes indignant for a very significant reason and sometimes to the point. The most typical reasons are “Your child is throwing sand”, “He is throwing stones at my child” or something else that you yourself have not noticed and that:

Note to moms!

Hello girls) I didn’t think that the problem of stretch marks would affect me too, and I’ll also write about it))) But there’s nowhere to go, so I’m writing here: How did I get rid of stretch marks after childbirth? I will be very glad if my method helps you too...

• poses a threat to your child’s health;
• poses a threat to the health of others.

Assess the situation soberly and understand who is to blame. Maybe it’s a child, maybe it’s your fault for not paying attention, or maybe it’s a ridiculous misunderstanding. Be that as it may, even if your child has done some mischief, you don’t need to immediately reprimand him in front of strangers. Don't humiliate your own child! Say thank you to the “adviser”, step aside with your child and talk privately without threats, spanking or screaming. After all, your screams will not change anything, you will only be ashamed in front of people for the performance you staged.

If you are very angry, the best thing to do is take your child away from the playground and talk to him at home. On the way home, you will probably cool down and perceive things more sensibly.

Not guilty

What if the child is not involved at all? Maybe some behaviors are absolutely normal for you and your child - so what? Swear? Create a scandal in public ()? This is highly not recommended, because the child is looking at you. You are an authority for him, and he learns from you, absorbs everything you do and will repeat your behavior throughout life. Teach your child to be polite, but to have his own point of view and defend it. You can thank a passerby for their advice and add your own “but.” “Thank you for the advice, but I’ll deal with my child myself,” “Thank you, but you don’t need to worry about us, we’ll sort everything out.”

Even if such answers do not satisfy the same neighbor or passerby, it does not matter. It is important for you not to destroy the trust and that bond between you and your children. Because for all children - you, as a parent, are support, protection, authority and best friend - who will understand everything, protect and will not give offense.

Raising children is hard. Be that as it may, we are ready for this. But what you can’t be completely, absolutely prepared for is the constant intrusive comments and advice uttered by “wise” relatives, friends and even complete strangers about how you are raising your children “wrongly”. To ensure that brilliant answers do not come an hour after an aggressive attack from unsolicited advisers, check out examples of successful responses to their “wisdom” from Wendy Wisner, writer, mother of two children and lactation consultant.

1. Smile, nod and chilling gaze

Smile brightly and nod in agreement, as if you accept their advice with all your heart. And then silently give them the coldest stare you can muster.

2. “Would you like to take care of my children, say, tomorrow? All day?"

I usually serve this answer in a humorous sauce. But there is no truth in this joke - it is the whole truth: no one knows how to raise your children except the one who raises them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. That is, except for you. Topic closed.

3. Change the topic of conversation

Even the latest events political life countries - a more pleasant topic than trying to explain to my annoying aunt why my three-year-old child is not yet sitting on the potty.

4. “You know, I never thought about this!”

Or alternatively: “God, you just opened my eyes. I didn’t know at all that if you put a child in a corner for five minutes, then he will obey unquestioningly all his life!”

5. Play the “All children are different” card

“I'm so glad your child started eating vegetables after you put them on a plate in the shape of a clown's face one time. But my children smeared this clown on the wall and after that they never ate carrots or broccoli again.”

A wonderful answer, and it does not necessarily have to be true. It’s just that now you have the opinion of a person on your side, whom everyone usually respects and trusts. Usually such an answer is enough so that there are no more questions for you.

7. “Yes, today is not his/her day.”

Yes, sometimes children can be unbearable. Especially if they are outside their comfort zone, in an unfamiliar environment, among strangers.

8. “Really? Well, let’s talk about your ideal children then!”

Maybe not exactly, but turning things around and asking your advisors to share their parenting successes and failures is a way to distract them from criticizing you and open up an honest discussion about parenting. But if it just serves to keep them quiet, that’s also a great result!

9. Say: “This is interesting,” think: “I really don’t care!”

Sometimes it’s better to give such a monosyllabic answer, the main thing is to remember to repeat to yourself the parental mantra: “I absolutely don’t give a damn about your stupid advice and comments!” Memorize it and practice regularly.

The good news is that these responses tend to reduce the number of critics and critics. It’s a pity that this phenomenon will never completely disappear, just as you will never be able to understand: why do people interfere with your family with advice and teachings? After all, what suits one family may not suit another. Honestly, even in the same family, each of the children can react completely differently to their parents' parenting methods. Try to remember this and never give anyone unsolicited advice.

As soon as a child appears in the family, parents are immediately made to understand: we live in a country of Soviets. Grandparents, friends and relatives, compassionate passers-by and active neighbors - everyone knows exactly how to help your baby sleep, at what temperature it’s time to put a hat on him, how good boys and girls should behave so as not to get dirty in the mud and not cause trouble. mother hassle with washing, and how a mother should behave so that her child does not annoy the neighbors in the airplane row by playing peek-a-boo.

Frankly, it's tiring. For the first time, you will nod vaguely and smile politely at the friendly advice “give the baby a pacifier, he will fall asleep right away.” Another time you will sigh heavily, trying to explain to your own mother that the child will not be able to get through because of the open window in the room. In the third, you will lash out at the security guard at the clinic, who, for educational purposes, will threaten your son: “Our policeman will take away such a capricious boy in an instant!”

It seems that those around you are testing your strength. But in reality they simply end up in a sensitive place - parenthood, which for most people is the most important thing in life. It’s not easy to put on armor every time and fend off outside criticism when you yourself couldn’t sleep at night because of your baby’s teeth, or you don’t know how to persuade your child to take the medicine he needs, or you’re suffering from toxicosis, expecting another baby, so you allow your older child a little more freedom. But society is not asleep, it points its finger at the fact that “your child will now catch germs in a puddle and get sick,” and every word resonates inside as you. Bad. Parent.

Painful comments become a problem, lower self-esteem, and convince us that we are not coping with our role. But you still need to remember that not all comments deserve a reaction. In general, they can be divided into two categories: criticism that should not be taken seriously, and comments that should not be left unanswered.

We do not enter into confrontation

Let's not lie: we are all capable of judging someone from time to time, at least mentally. For going with a three-month-old baby to the sea, for letting the child cry while teaching him to sleep on his own, for choosing home schooling rather than going to school like everyone else. This is how we get triggers that mean something to us and touch sensitive areas. Exactly the same triggers work for those around you. Unfortunately, few people tend to take into account the context in which parents make this or that decision when raising their children. An outsider is guided by his own experience; it seems to him that he knows what is best and will help with advice.

Often our own parents hit where it hurts. They give advice with the best intentions, but they can be too persistent. No one wants to ruin their relationship with each other, but the fact remains: the experience of mothers is not identical to our experience, approaches to parenting change over time, and older generations have difficulty accepting change and innovation. Therefore, it is better to perceive controversial situations as an opportunity to learn how to talk to each other and find a compromise.

Listen to the parents' point of view, but firmly make it clear that you make the main decisions about raising your children. A possible response to criticism of your sleep method could be: “Thanks for the advice, I understand that some babies like to be rocked to sleep, but our baby sleeps better when breastfed.”

It is important for many people to hear another authoritative opinion. It’s good if you show your awareness of a controversial issue and back up your opinion with a professional one. If the grandmother assures that it is necessary to swaddle the child with his arms so that he sleeps soundly: “After all, I did that with you, and you slept all night!”, There is no need to offend her with sharp disagreement. Show, for example, a book by Dr. Komarovsky, whose advice you trust, or print out an article for your grandmother about how modern pediatricians do not support tight swaddling. Perhaps, having learned about an authoritative source, the elders will not be so critical.

The first impulse when receiving criticism is to prove to the person that he is wrong, but with loved ones the most important thing is to maintain good relations and not quarrel over dear grandchildren. According to the law of nature, the older generation considers it necessary to take care of the younger generation in words and deeds if they see that the children need them. Increase your independence in your parents' eyes, let them understand that you are ready to make your own decisions and take responsibility for raising your children.

Let's not stand aside

Often criticism comes from strangers and causes negative emotions and rejection, goes against what you feel, and becomes an interference in your personal life. This happens when strangers, without any reason, label you and your children. In this case, we are obliged to stand up for protection.

“Bad girl,” a passer-by will say, as if in your support, if she witnesses a not-so-pretty street scene, when a three-year-old daughter, tired from a long journey, sits down on the asphalt and, with tears, refuses to go further. To remain silent or agree with a stranger in such a situation means to admit the “badness” of your child. This is the case when it is necessary to answer out loud to a passer-by that she is wrong, and to the daughter that she is not at all what the woman called her.

Another way to respond to unwanted criticism is to turn the negative assessment of others into a positive one:

– Your child is so noisy, how do you deal with him?
– Yes, he is very energetic and active, look, at the age of five he can already climb a rope and do pull-ups.

– Have you decided not to breastfeed?
– There were reasons for this. But I’m glad that my baby gets a good formula and is developing well.

One of the mistakes parents make is sharing personal problems with a close circle. Those around you are noticeably encouraged if they find out that you have difficulties with your children, advice is immediately available to them, because with your revelations you show openness to criticism. Don't let other people think that you are ashamed of your children's behavior. It is much better to show confidence, even if only externally, in your approach to parenting.

Are you convinced that boys don't have to wear crew-cut haircuts if they have beautiful curls? Are you sure that an hour of cartoons a day will not harm your children? You don’t think it’s good for them to drink sparkling water and refuse the offered drink. Make it clear to the person making the remark in your direction that you have heard their point of view, but your approach works in your family and everything that concerns your children can only be decided by you.

When someone else's words hurt you, it can be useful to say to yourself: what is it in your neighbor's life that makes her scream, that you are not watching your child, and he is about to hit the swing? Perhaps there was an unpleasant incident in her own experience, because of which she wants to warn other mothers to watch their children more closely on the playground and not let them run near the swings. Very politely thank your neighbor for her concern and tell her that you have everything under control.

Nota bene:

people who give unsolicited advice don't necessarily think you're a bad parent. In many cases, they are simply sharing an experience and want someone to listen; Most advisers are not experts in psychology and pedagogy. Most likely, they are parents themselves and, like everyone else, are prone to making mistakes. Don't take all the words to heart; You don’t have to explain to everyone why you don’t take your child to McDonald’s, or allow you to walk around without a jacket at plus 10, or got your ears pierced so early. Don't waste a lot of mental energy on this. if the comments of some people seem intrusive and inappropriate to you, perhaps this is a reason to politely distance yourself from communication with them and spend more time with those with whom you share the same views on education.

We cannot influence the words and actions of other people, but we can think through our reaction to other people's comments. You don't have to be rude to let others know that you're raising your children in a way that's right for you. Although, to be honest, I would like to believe that the time will come when we will hear much more often than unpleasant comments best compliment, which can only be given to a woman with children: that she is a good mother.

L. Charlin

Sometimes a casual remark made by a child unsettles parents. Because it happens so unexpectedly that adults don’t even have time to figure out how to respond to the child correctly in this case. Of course, children grow up and have the right to their personal opinion. And due to the fact that they still speak quite honestly and openly about what they think and see around them, their phrases sometimes literally knock you off your feet.

Remarks can be both funny and offensive. They may be said without reason, but in any case they make an adult think about his behavior or his appearance.

Who is raising whom?

We are parents and have the right to raise our children as we want. But do they have the right to make comments to us and educate us? Absolutely yes. Because they are independent individuals just like us. They have every right to express their opinion. Moreover, there are cases when comments from children come due to dissatisfaction with the behavior of their parents and are far from in vain. For example, there is excessive alcohol abuse in the family or one of the parents is very overweight. Of course, not all mothers and fathers take children's comments and requests seriously. But still, somewhere on a subconscious level they force you to look at the situation from a different perspective. And parents begin to wonder: “What if it’s true that I’m doing the wrong thing, if even the child points out my shortcomings?”

Sometimes children's comments are even useful. After all, if they had not expressed them to us, we would sit for hours on end at the computer, wear ugly clothes, etc.

Children feel much more sensitively and better than adults about how they relate to themselves and others. They have much more developed intuition. This is why you should really listen to children's opinion and try to take it into account.

But there are parents who do not allow their children to teach adults anything and who do not speak flatteringly about them. Especially the upbringing of our grandparents, as well as fathers and mothers, did not allow such liberties as “comments to parents.” This was considered rude towards them and therefore was not allowed, so as not to “undermine parental authority.”

Now times have changed a little and many mothers and fathers are raising their children with equal rights and giving them freedom of speech. They are free to express their opinion, even if it does not quite coincide with the opinions of others.

A fine line between criticism and reprimand

When a child reprimands a parent about something, this is completely acceptable. But when, for example, a baby starts sneezing loudly at his grandmother because she accidentally broke a jar or tied the laces on her children’s shoes incorrectly, this is clearly too much.

Making comments to parents and contradicting them are completely different things. Therefore, if you do not want to spoil your child to such an extent that he controls all your actions, set clear boundaries. Regardless of who reprimands whom, it is worth following important rules that we know from business etiquette.

1. All comments are made in private. If, for example, you want to reprimand your child for misbehaving, do it at home. This way you will earn respect from your child and he will remember this rule. And the next time he is outraged by your behavior, he will not make a remark about you in front of everyone.
2. Comments should be made only on occasion and for a good reason. Otherwise it turns out boring. Children's constant reminders to their parents that they are doing everything wrong are very annoying. In the same way, frequent comments from mom and dad to a child do not have a very positive effect on his psyche. Therefore, think carefully before scolding your child for something, whether he really did something so wrong.
3. Before pointing out a mistake or scolding a person, praise him. Find positive aspects or point out his actions that are worthy of respect. For example, your son or daughter got a bad grade at school. Before scolding your child, start with the phrase: “I know that you have a very heavy load at school and it’s not easy for you. And of course, you’re great for keeping up with everything, even I couldn’t do it, but today in class you got a bad grade, why did this happen?” Perhaps the child will tell you that he was worried or had other reasons for his failure at school.
4. The conversation should be conducted in a friendly and calm tone. You should not raise your voice and take it out on your child, even if he has greatly upset you and done the wrong thing. This increases trust and respect. In any situation when a child also wants to scold you and make a reprimand, he will do it just as calmly and without shouting.
5. Formulate your phrase so that it does not contain the “not” part. For example, if you want to say “don’t make noise,” it would be better to say “keep your voice down.”

Children are our reflection. And what we invest in them now is what we will get in the future. Their attitude towards us and others depends on how we raise them. If a sense of trust, respect and love is instilled in them from childhood, they will never contradict their parents. And relevant comments from children that help them become better are very important for parents. After all, strangers do not always dare to voice them to us.