The death of a person is always a difficult event for those who knew him. For family and friends, this is a particularly painful loss. Funeral services take place on the third, ninth and fortieth day after death. In order to carry them out correctly, you need to know what 40 days after death mean and how to remember the deceased. Typically, there are many traditions associated with this day that are necessary to help the deceased person.

This is the so-called “border” that lies between earthly and eternal life. This date is a kind of reminder to humanity that after death the soul appears before its Heavenly Father, and it is even more tragic than physical death.

Where is the soul of the deceased all this time? Often at first people feel the presence of the deceased, smells, sighs, steps. This can be explained by the fact that until the fortieth day the spirit does not leave its habitat.

40 days after death - what does it mean?

At first the soul is free and is usually found in places that are important to it. On the third day a memorial service is held.

Then she meets God, the saints and visits heaven, the entrance to which may be closed. That is why the spirit begins to experience anxiety and fear for the mistakes made during earthly life. On the ninth day, a wake and memorial service are held.

After the ninth day, the soul goes through predetermined tests and obstacles. All good and bad deeds are compared. On the fortieth day comes the Last Judgment, during which it is decided whether there will be eternal life in Paradise or Hell.

How to pray and remember the dead?

Every believer is obliged to remember the dead. Prayers should be especially diligent at the very beginning, because they make it easier to cope with an irreparable loss. And on the 40th day, prayer is said at home or in church. In the house, the female part of the family ties a scarf on their heads, and candles are lit in front of the image of the Lord.

When at a cemetery, liturgy or memorial service, postponing the commemoration is strictly prohibited. In other cases, if it is not possible to remember the deceased on the fortieth day, this can be done earlier.

On the 40th day, a memorial dinner is held, during which the deceased is remembered and prayed for his repose. The funeral dinner should include the following dishes:

• kutia made from rice or millet;
• rich pancakes;
• pies with various fillings;
• meat dishes;
• fish dishes;
• salads from lean products;
• the deceased's favorite dish;
• dessert (cookies, sweets, cheesecakes, pies).

To carry out a farewell ceremony with a loved one, it is customary to come to the cemetery on funeral days with an even number of flowers and a candle. It is forbidden to make noise, eat food or drink alcohol at the grave. As a treat for the deceased, you can leave a plate of kutya taken from home at the grave.

For forty days, it is customary to distribute cookies, sweets or pastries to people so that they can remember the deceased.

When do you need to order a memorial service for 40 days?

At this time, visiting the temple is mandatory. They pray there, order a memorial service and celebrate the magpie. The most important prayer is the one said at the liturgy. An obligatory bloodless sacrifice is offered to the Lord.

The memorial service is served before the eve - a special table on which gifts are left for the needs of the temple and in memory of the deceased. Lithium is held if a memorial service is not scheduled on the appointed day.

Sorokoust is carried out from the day of death until the fortieth day, and when this time ends, sorokoust is allowed to be repeated again. The timing of commemoration can be extended.

Traditions and rituals

Since ancient times, many different customs have developed regarding the 40 days, but the church confirms only a small part. Well-known traditions are presented below:

1. For forty days it is advisable not to pay special attention to clothes and not to cut your hair.
2. When setting the table for a funeral dinner, cutlery in the form of knives and forks is strictly prohibited; spoons are placed with the notch down.
3. The crumbs remaining on the table must be collected and taken to the grave - in this way the deceased is informed that there has been a wake.
4. You can also take food from your home with you to the wake, for example, some pancakes or pies.
5. Doors and windows must be tightly closed at night. It is forbidden to cry - because of this, the soul of the deceased may be attracted.
6. On the bedside table or table you need to leave a glass, which is filled with vodka and covered with a piece of bread. If the soul drinks from there, then the amount of liquid will decrease.
7. Until forty days you cannot crack the seeds. There are several explanations for this ban. Firstly, because of this, the soul of the deceased may be spit on. Secondly, those who violate the ban may have toothache for a long time. Thirdly, in this way you can attract evil spirits.
8. It is customary to distribute spoons for forty days. In ancient times, wooden spoons were distributed from funeral dinners, but now ordinary spoons can be distributed. Thus, while using this cutlery, a person will involuntarily remember the deceased. On the other hand, there is a superstition that it is impossible to distribute various dishes from a funeral for forty days - they act as a participant in the farewell ritual and can bring bad events or even death to a person.

Important signs for forty days after death

There are a large number of superstitions that are associated with this date. However, it is worth mentioning and knowing the most famous of them:

1. The house cannot be cleaned for forty days.
2. The night light or candle should always be on.
3. In various reflective surfaces, a deceased person may appear and take the living one with him, so until the fortieth day, everything that has mirror surfaces, for example, televisions, mirrors, etc., is covered with a cloth.
4. During a wake, forty days after death, a place is allocated for the deceased, where they place a plate and a glass covered with a piece of bread.
5. The widow's head must be covered with a black scarf all the time until forty days, otherwise the woman may incur damage to herself.
6. Every day a towel and a glass filled with water are placed on the windowsill so that the soul has the opportunity to wash itself.

It is important to remember that the 40-day commemoration is not a celebration or celebration. This is a time of mourning, forgiveness. At this time, it is strictly forbidden to sing any songs, listen to music, or drink alcohol.

During the 1-2 hours during which the wake takes place, believers pray for the deceased and remember him. The funeral dinner should be attended exclusively by Christians - they will help the family share in this hard times, provide her with spiritual support.

When a loved one has not yet crossed the threshold of eternity, his relatives try in every possible way to show signs of attention and offer all possible help. This reveals the duty of fulfilling love for one’s neighbor, which is a mandatory responsibility in the Christian faith. But man is not eternal. There comes a moment for everyone. However, this transition from one state of personality to another should not be marked by leaving behind the memory of. A person is alive as long as he is remembered. It is a religious duty to organize memorial dinners in memory of all who knew the latter during his lifetime.

The semantic meaning of 9 days after the death of a person

According to Orthodox doctrine, the human soul is immortal. This is confirmed by practice in the Christian tradition. Church Tradition teaches that for the first three days after death, the soul remains on earth in those places that were especially loved by it. Then she ascends to God. The Lord shows the soul the heavenly abodes in which the righteous are blissful.

The personal self-consciousness of the soul is touched, it marvels at what it sees, and the bitterness from leaving the earth is no longer so strong. This happens over six days. Then the angels ascend the soul again to worship God. It turns out that this is the ninth day, on which the soul sees its Creator for the second time. In memory of this, the Church establishes a wake, at which it is customary to gather in a narrow family circle. Commemoration is ordered in churches, prayers are offered to God for the pardon of the deceased. There is a statement that there is no one who has lived and not sinned. Also, the semantic meaning of the number nine is the memory of the Church about the corresponding number of angelic ranks. It is the angels who accompany the soul, showing it all the beauties of paradise.

The fortieth day is the time of private judgment of the soul

After nine days, the soul is shown the hellish abodes. She observes all the horror of incorrigible sinners, feels fear and awe of what she sees. Then, on the fortieth day, he again ascends to God for worship, only this time a private judgment of the soul also takes place. This date is always considered the most important in the afterlife of the deceased. There is no tradition of postponing funerals, no matter what day they occur.

The soul is judged for all the deeds a person has done during his lifetime. And after this, the place of her stay until the second coming of Christ is determined. It is especially important these days to pray and give alms in memory of a relative or friend who has left this world. A person asks God for mercy, the opportunity to grant a blessed fate to a deceased person.

The number 40 has its own meaning. Even in the Old Testament it was prescribed to preserve the memory of the deceased for 40 days. In New Testament times, semantic analogies can be drawn with the Ascension of Christ. So, it was on the 40th day after His resurrection that the Lord ascended to heaven. This memorial date is also a memory of the fact that the human soul, after death, again goes to its Heavenly Father.

In general, holding a wake is an act of mercy towards living people. Lunch is offered as alms in memory of the deceased, and other rituals are performed that testify to a person’s faith in the immortality of the soul. This is also the hope for the salvation of each individual person.

Fear of the unknown is a natural reaction that forces even the most notorious atheist, even to a minimal extent, to believe and adhere to certain rules of behavior during the process, before and after the funeral.

In order to help the soul of the deceased easily leave the material world, you need not only to know the recommendations, but also to understand their deep meaning. Not everyone knows how to behave correctly if such grief occurs in a family. Therefore, we have compiled a detailed article describing the rules of what you can and cannot do.

In Orthodoxy, wakes after death are held 3 times. On the third day after death, on the ninth, fortieth. The essence of the ritual lies in the funeral meal. Relatives and friends gather at a common table. They remember the deceased, his good deeds, stories from his life.

— On the 3rd day after death (the funeral is also held on the same day), everyone gathers to honor the memory of the deceased. The Christian is first taken to the funeral ceremony in a church or cemetery chapel. The unbaptized deceased, after saying goodbye to home, are immediately taken to the cemetery. Then everyone returns to the house for the wake. The family of the deceased does not sit at this memorial table.

— In the first seven days after a person’s death, do not take any things out of the house.

— On the 9th day after death, relatives go to the temple, order a memorial service, set a second memorial table at home, and only close relatives are invited to honor the memory of the deceased. The funeral is reminiscent of a family dinner, with the difference that the photo of the deceased is located not far from the refectory table. Next to the photograph of the deceased they place a glass of water or vodka and a slice of bread.

— On the 40th day after the death of a person, a third memorial table is held, everyone is invited. On this day, those who were unable to attend the funeral usually come to the wake. At church I order Sorokoust - forty liturgies.

- From the day of the funeral until the 40th day, remembering the name of the deceased, we must pronounce a verbal formula-amulet for ourselves and all the living. At the same time, the same words are a symbolic wish for the deceased: "Rest in peace to him", thereby expressing wishes for his soul to end up in heaven.

— After the 40th day and over the next three years, we will say a different wish formula: "The kingdom of heaven be upon him". Thus, we wish the deceased an afterlife in paradise. These words should be addressed to any deceased, regardless of the circumstances of his life and death. Guided by the biblical commandment “Judge not, lest ye be judged”.

- During the year following the death of a person, none of the family members has the moral right to take part in any holiday celebration.

- None of the family members of the deceased (including the second degree of kinship) could get married during the period of mourning.

- If a relative of the 1st -2nd degree of relationship has died in the family and not a year has passed since his death, then such a family does not have the right to paint eggs red for Easter (they must be white or some other color - blue, black , green) and accordingly take part in the celebrations of Easter night.

— After the death of her husband, the wife is prohibited from washing anything for a year on the day of the week on which the disaster occurred.

— For a year after death, everything in the house where the deceased lived remains in a state of peace or permanence: repairs cannot be made, furniture can be rearranged, nothing is given away or sold from the deceased’s belongings until the soul of the deceased reaches eternal peace.

- Exactly one year after death, the family of the deceased celebrates a memorial meal (“I please”) - the 4th, concluding memorial family-tribal table. It must be remembered that the living cannot be congratulated on their birthday in advance, and the final memorial table should be arranged either exactly a year later, or 1-3 days earlier.

On this day you need to go to the temple and order a memorial service for the deceased, go to the cemetery to visit the grave.

As soon as the last funeral meal is completed, the family is again included in the traditional scheme of holiday regulations of the folk calendar, becomes a full member of the community, and has the right to take part in any family celebrations, including weddings.

— A monument can be erected on a grave only after a year has passed after the person’s death. Moreover, it is necessary to remember the golden rule of folk culture: “Do not graze the soil of Pakravou da Radaunschy.” This means if the year of the deceased fell at the end of October, i.e. after the Intercession (and for the entire subsequent period up to Radunitsa), then the monument can only be erected in the spring, after Radunitsa.

— After installing the monument, the cross (usually a wooden one) is placed next to the grave for another year, and then thrown away. It can also be buried under a flower bed or under a gravestone.

— You can get married after the death of one of the spouses only after a year. If a woman got married a second time, then the new husband became the full owner-master only after seven years.

— If the spouses were married, then after the husband’s death the wife took his ring, and if she never married again, then both wedding rings were placed in her coffin.

“If a husband buried his wife, then her wedding ring remained with him, and after his death, both rings were placed in his coffin, so that when they met in the Kingdom of Heaven, they could say: “I brought our rings with which the Lord God crowned us.”

— For three years, the birthday of the deceased and the day of his death are celebrated. After this period, only the day of death and all annual church holidays commemorating ancestors are celebrated.

Not all of us know how to pray, much less know prayers for the dead. Learn a few prayers that may help your soul find peace after an irreparable loss.

Visiting a cemetery throughout the year

During the first year and all subsequent years, you can go to the cemetery only on Saturdays (except for the 9th, 40th day after death and church holidays honoring ancestors, such as Radunitsa or Autumn Grandfathers). These are church-recognized days of remembrance of the dead. Try to convince your relatives that they should not constantly visit the grave of the deceased, as they are harming their health.
Visit the cemetery before 12 noon.
The way you come to the cemetery is the same way you return.

• Meat Saturday is the Saturday in the ninth week before Easter.
• Ecumenical Parental Saturday is the Saturday in the second week of Lent.
• Ecumenical Parental Saturday is the Saturday in the third week of Lent.
• Ecumenical Parental Saturday is the Saturday in the fourth week of Lent.
• Radunitsa - Tuesday in the second week after Easter.
• Trinity Saturday is the Saturday in the seventh week after Easter.
• Dmitrievskaya Saturday - Saturday in the third week after.

How to dress appropriately for a death anniversary?

Clothes for a death anniversary are of no small importance. If you are planning a trip to the cemetery before the funeral dinner, you should take weather conditions into account. To attend church, women need to prepare a headdress (scarf).

Dress formally for all funeral events. Shorts, deep necklines, bows and ruffles will look indecent. It is better to exclude bright, variegated colors. Business, office suits, closed shoes, formal dresses in muted tones are an appropriate choice for a funeral date.

Is it possible to make repairs after a funeral?

According to signs not related to Orthodoxy, repairs in the house where the deceased lived cannot be done within 40 days. No changes can be made to the interior. In addition, all belongings of the deceased must be thrown away after 40 days. And on the bed on which a person died, his blood relatives are generally not allowed to sleep. From an ethical point of view, repairs will only refresh the state of those grieving. It will help you get rid of things that remind you of the person. Although many, in memory of a departed loved one, strive to keep something that belonged to him. According to signs, this is again not worth doing. Therefore, repair will be a good solution in all cases.

Is it possible to clean up after a funeral?

While the deceased is in the house, you cannot clean or take out the trash. According to legends, it is believed that the rest of the family members will die. When the deceased is removed from the house, the floor must be thoroughly washed. Blood relatives are prohibited from doing this. The Orthodox Church also denies this point and considers it superstition.

Why is the 40th day after death so important for Christians? How is day 40 different from 39 or 41, if a person passes into eternity after death? What happens to the soul after death and how does the Church know this? It can be difficult to understand all the rituals, rules and traditions associated with the 40th day. Meanwhile, for the deceased, this is one of the most important days in his life - the fate of the soul is determined before the Last Judgment.

For God, one day is like a thousand years, and our time is relative: we know that in eternity, for the deceased, time does not exist. 40 days are important for us, the living, first of all as a kind of guideline, so that while we are here on earth, we pray for the newly deceased. Because it depends on us, his loved ones, on our love and mercy, what the coming eternity will be like for the deceased.

For 40 days, everyone who cares about the newly deceased is called upon to pay special attention to their own lives: try to abstain not only from sinful acts, but also from bad intentions and idle impressions. But each of us has our own measure, including prayers. Of course, Orthodox Christians try every day to follow Christ, but within 40 days after death we are no longer responsible only for ourselves. Is it really possible to escape the necessary hassle associated with the 40th day in order to calmly pray for the deceased, serve God and others?

Based on our circumstances, abilities and capabilities, we try to help the deceased and his relatives, who may be overwhelmed by grief to such an extent that it is difficult to figure out how to properly prepare for the 40th day. Various life situations and the most current issues priests about 40 days after death - in the selection of “Thomas”.

What happens to the soul 40 days after death?

On the 40th day after death, the location of the soul in eternity is determined until the Last Judgment. This is called "private judgment" when God determines the place where the soul will be. The prayers of the living for a departed person are especially needed if unrepentant sins are such that there is no room in the soul for a bright eternity. Then we can actively help the newly deceased: with prayer, alms in memory of him, good deeds, participation in the sacraments.

Private judgment presupposes a person’s meeting with himself – the way he was called to be in God’s plan for him. When these horizons of holiness and grace are opened to a person, he becomes ashamed of the way he came to this judgment. For all his falls and passions, baseness and self-justification, for the time he wasted and the people erased from his heart, whom he was called not to reject, but to warm with his love and attention. Demons lay claim to his soul. Angels protect her.

The Lord, in His great mercy, is looking for in this soul at least a small grain of true life, at least a spark of real faith, at least the intention to leave his inner hell towards his neighbors and God - he is looking to fill this grain with eternal life, to fan this spark into the flame of the spirit , multiply this repentant intention with Your willingness to forgive and comfort the repentant sinner. And if a person lived according to the truth of God, the secrets of the Kingdom of God are revealed to him, he ascends from glory to glory in communion with Christ and is surprised from the eternity of our sorrow for him. And if not, then all the more he hopes for our prayers there. For it is no longer possible for a person to renew his soul by repentance beyond the point of death.

Where is the soul 40 days after death?

Archpriest Alexy Spassky, cleric of the Church of the Holy Blessed Tsarevich Demetrius, responsible for the Church of the Icon of the Mother of God “Merciful” at the Morozov Children’s Hospital in Moscow

This question is completely unknown, but according to church tradition, according to tradition, we know that within 40 days the soul goes through some tests, ordeals, and demons can approach this soul with some accusations. On the 40th day after death, a private trial of the soul of the newly deceased takes place, and the place where it will remain until the general resurrection from the dead is determined: in heaven or in hell.

For 40 days we pray especially intensely for a person, because the soul is still on some journey, and our prayers, of course, help it reach the Kingdom of God. Of course, it is very good to do good deeds in memory of the deceased. You can give alms on behalf of the newly deceased. Someone helps the church, someone helps a specific person and asks for his prayers. Any good deed that you yourself feel that you can do is appropriate.

Where does the soul go after the 40th day?

After the 40th day, the soul goes to the place that the Lord has prepared for it, depending on what this soul has managed to acquire here on earth. What kind of love did she acquire, what good deeds did she perform, how did she keep the commandments of God? What was this soul like as a Christian, how close did she come to God? All this is taken into account and, depending on the presence of virtues, a place for the soul of the newly deceased is determined after the 40th day, although it is considered temporary. This is a place for the soul until the Last Judgment, when every person will be judged by the Lord again and when the place for the soul to remain in eternity will be finally determined.

Man is two-part, he consists of body and soul. In our material world, the body is inseparable from the soul. Here, in four-dimensional space (this is a three-dimensional coordinate system plus a time vector in which certain changes occur), the soul is inseparable from the body. But at the same time, a person with his soul is in another world, outside our material coordinate system. Therefore, it is useless to look for the place of the soul in the universe - our concepts are not applicable to another world.

From Church Tradition we know that by the Providence of God certain people were revealed certain information about another world: the heavenly abodes or hell. In Holy Scripture, the Apostle Paul says that a certain man was caught up to the third heaven. According to tradition, it is believed that he spoke this way about himself. But even what he saw there, he could not later tell other people, because the human speech apparatus and the concepts with which we operate here on earth are not applicable to what is in the Kingdom of God.

Why the Lord gives the opportunity to certain people to visit another world and then return, we do not know. Most likely, this is necessary for repentance and for the confirmation of other people in the faith. But all this happens according to the Providence of God. If this or that is what you need for salvation, then it will happen. Under no circumstances should you establish a connection with another world artificially or on your own. Scripture, Tradition, and the teachings of the Holy Fathers of the Church speak about this. Trying to establish a connection with the other world, we show our pride and self-will, wanting not by the will of God, but by our own desire to establish “contact.” It may turn out that through the manifestation of his pride, a person will fall into the clutches of the devil and then may be completely damaged, because the forces of evil are not to be trifled with. Contacts with various kinds of magicians who claim that they can establish contact with otherworldly forces are also dangerous. From Church Tradition we know for sure that all these connections can only be with the world of fallen spirits, which is very dangerous and sinful, and this cannot be done under any circumstances.

The Bible about 40 days after death

Hieromonk Dimitry (Pershin), Deputy Chairman of the Brotherhood of Orthodox Pathfinders, Chief Editor TV company “Sretenie”, cleric of the Krutitsky Patriarchal Metochion in Moscow

The Bible speaks of the Ascension of the Savior on the 40th day after Easter. Based on this fact, the Church believes that the soul of a Christian during these periods finds a place of eternal rest until the general rise from the dead. It is then that the Last Judgment will take place, giving hope that thanks to the prayers of the Church for the departed, they will be able to grow in greater joy of communion with God by the infinite mercy of God.

For the biblical tradition, human corporeality is not a curse, like among the pagans, but a blessing. And if the soul lives forever, then the human body is a house that is called to become a temple. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who dwells in you, which you have from God, and you are not your own?” the Apostle Paul says to Christians (1 Cor 6:19). A few seconds after conception or moments before death - a person is always not only What, but exactly Who. Therefore, for believers, any person, regardless of the limitations of his abilities (a terminally ill child or an elderly person), is still a person whose soul will live forever. Hence it is clear why the Church opposes abortion and euthanasia, which interrupt the existence not of an unreasonable animal (a conglomerate of cells), but of a person, even at the very beginning or end of his life.

How to count 40 days after death?

Archpriest Sergius Vasin, rector of the Church of the Nativity Holy Mother of God in the village Bobyakovo, Novousmansky district, Voronezh region

I know how spiritual people who prayed and had authority were blessed. They said that if a person died in the first half of the day, then this day should be considered the first. If a person died in the late afternoon, then the countdown can begin from the next day. And so on until the 40th day - a simple mechanical calculation.

All the same, with the Lord one day is like thousands, so the time is conditional. On the 40th day, even the day before, on the 39th, it is customary to pray to God for this person, since his fate, his preliminary fate, is being decided. Usually, on the eve of the 40th day, loved ones try to pray intensely. Therefore, on the 39th day they read the Psalter and order a memorial service in the church. The next day, the 40th after death, they come to the church for the liturgy, submit a note of repose, and participate in the sacraments. And only then do they plan to visit the cemetery, prepare for the funeral meal, and so on.

Why exactly 40 days after death?

Priest Fyodor Lukyanov, cleric of the Church of All Saints on Filevskaya Poima, Moscow

40 is a sign of completeness in Scripture. We know that Moses waited 40 days before receiving the tablets of the Covenant, and that he led the people through the wilderness for 40 years. The Lord Jesus Christ fasted for 40 days in the desert before going out to serve. That is, the number 40 has always been considered a sign of completeness, the fulfillment of something. Therefore, the 40th day is the period for determining the fate of man, the child of God, who stands before his Father, naked in all his deeds, good and evil. Therefore, it is on the 40th day that the Lord pronounces his impartial, fair and at the same time loving judgment on the soul of the newly deceased.

For God, one day is like a thousand years. The soul of the one who has left us already exists in eternity, and these are our numbers and terms - 9 days, 40 days - that are important to us, first of all, as a kind of guideline. We know that after death there is a certain period, approximately corresponding to our earthly 40 days, when God's providence for the human soul occurs. And if many loved ones pray for the soul of the deceased during this period, the Lord can soften his judgment about him, even if the person has not earned a merciful attitude through his deeds. But the Lord, as a merciful Father, bows down and hears our requests to Him, our prayers.

Mathematical calculations do not affect the “correctness” of the commemoration: if on this day they gathered and commemorated, then “everything will be fine for him,” and if they missed it or didn’t have time, then “horror, horror.” Of course, this is a limitation of God's mercy. Even a funeral service, performed not before burial, but after, will be effective in the eyes of God.

How to remember on the 40th day after death?

Archpriest Sergius Vasin, rector of the Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the village. Bobyakovo, Novousmansky district, Voronezh region

For a deceased person, the 40th day after death is very important, one of the most important in his life. It is clear that our time and eternity, in which time does not exist, are increasingly conditional, but nevertheless, for us the Lord determined it in such a way that, based on our time, being here on earth, we would pray especially for the newly deceased. This is important because the preliminary fate of the deceased is decided, a preliminary judgment of the soul begins. Therefore, it is imperative to pray intensely for this soul for 40 days, to remember it on the 9th day, when the soul leaves the heavenly abodes and hell is shown to it. And especially to pray before the 40th day: you definitely need to order a mass (when a particle for this person is immersed in the blood of Christ with prayer, to wash away the sins of this person) and a memorial service in the church - this is the most important thing.

The relatives themselves need to work hard to read the Psalter for the newly deceased before the 40th day. And if possible, you can distribute alms for the repose of the soul of this person, feed the needy, arrange a memorial meal, which brings together people who knew or did not know the deceased. Now, according to tradition, acquaintances of the newly deceased gather, where they eat food with reverence and offer prayers for the repose of the person’s soul.

Of course, it would be possible to buy food and distribute it to the homeless, but even they are now far from Christian-looking, they are not the beggars and wanderers of former times in most cases. It is clear that we bring this work of love to God first of all, but no one knows whether these homeless people will reverently pray for the newly deceased. And it makes no sense for us to analyze this.

What does 40 days after death mean?

40 days is a sacred number of days from the Old Testament. 40 always means passing some kind of test: Moses led the people in the desert for 40 years, the Savior fasted for 40 days before going out to serve, 40 days of purification after the birth of a person. Therefore, it is possible that the 40 days were “carried over” as a kind of probationary period to the period after death.

It is believed that on the 40th day after death, a person’s fate is determined: he ends up on the threshold of heaven or hell until the Last Judgment. But this fate can still be changed through the prayers of the Church. Within 40 days, the test of his life takes place, as we know from Tradition, from various phenomena. There is no indication of this in Scripture. We can read from the Holy Fathers that the souls of the righteous ascend to heaven instantly; apparently, for them these 40 days of trials do not exist.

On the 40th day, they pray for the person for the last time, as if he were newly deceased, and perform a funeral commemoration and commemoration.

What should you not do 40 days after death?

Hieromonk Dimitri (Pershin), deputy chairman of the Brotherhood of Orthodox Pathfinders, editor-in-chief of the Sretenie television company, cleric of the Krutitsky Patriarchal Metochion in Moscow

40 days after death is a special time when the fate of the soul of the deceased is determined before the Last Judgment. And what this coming eternity will be like for her depends partly on us, on our prayer, love and mercy. Therefore, in these days after death, until the 40th day, one must pay special attention to all the movements of one’s soul. Try to abstain not only from sinful acts, but also from intentions themselves, evil and dirty thoughts, inappropriate impressions and emotions. Of course, this is a common task throughout our lives. But in the days of forty-one, that is, within 40 days after death, we are no longer responsible only for ourselves and are thus all the more called upon not to abandon the prayer rule, not to offend anyone, not even to be angry and irritated in secret, not to fall into carnal sins by cheating. spouse, even in thoughts, not to envy, not to be arrogant, not to give your time to idols and idols, be it gadgets, shopping or other temptations, in general, to find your own measure for everything, putting service to God and neighbor at the forefront. And if this failed, do not delay asking forgiveness from the Lord and the people who suffered from us, in order to pray in peace for the deceased.

40 days after death: rituals

On the 40th day, we must first of all think about the deceased. He needs our prayers, both in church and at home. Our acts of mercy, performed in memory of him, according to the Tradition of the Church, benefit his soul. Therefore, the main thing we should do on the 40th day after the death of a loved one is to gather together in a church or cemetery for a memorial service and pray for the repose of the soul of the newly deceased.

Traditionally, a wake is held on the 40th day. Wake in Christian understanding- this is a good deed for the sake of the memory of a person who has passed into eternity. But often they are overgrown with many additional customs based on superstitions. Unfortunately, it happens that meal requirements become a stumbling block among different generations of relatives. Rituals and rules should not interfere with the manifestation of love and the fulfillment of commandments, especially when we perform them for the sake of the deceased. On the one hand, you shouldn’t get hung up on all sorts of household rituals, on the other hand, if this is important for your relatives, you can, for the sake of peace, not upset them with disputes on this topic.

I once saw a situation where a very intelligent and famous priest was talking to his father. For many years they commemorated their relatives and friends, leaving this same “glass with bread”. We know that in the post-war period, those killed were commemorated with a 200 gram glass of vodka, the same “front-line” ones they gave before the battle, and a piece of black bread. What the veterans had was almost sacred. This has become an unshakable custom, sanctified by the death of those who sacrificed their lives for others.

That priest's father believed in God in his own way. And many years later he told his son: “come on, you know what, let’s not commemorate with vodka this time, because it’s somehow wrong.” And I saw the joy of that priest. He had been waiting for many years for his father to say this himself. He was afraid to reprimand his father.

How often do we know how to do the right thing, but this rule can kill a person. In the end, one can remember how Christ came to Cana of Galilee and sat with everyone, celebrated, although he vowed not to drink alcohol. But when the young and obviously not very rich didn’t even have enough wine, he turned water into wine. That is, humanity comes first for God. And we very often forget about this humanity. Therefore, if this glass of vodka and black bread will help us (who know that it is not right to remember the dead with alcoholic drinks) to be more humane and show this to those who have not yet found Christ, then let this glass with bread remain. It is important that a person comes to Church, not to push him away with our “rules”, so that he does not burst out: “Oh, you took the funeral glass with bread?? I won’t go to you, inhumans!”

Rituals, rules, traditions should not obscure the main meaning of what we do. And, if they are completely pagan, superstitious in nature, of course, they are not acceptable for Christians. If you have doubts whether a particular custom corresponds to our faith, it is best to clarify this in a personal conversation with a priest.

40 days after death: rules

Priest John Zakharov, rector of the Church of the Intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary at the Russian Children's Clinical Hospital, Moscow

There are a lot of superstitions related to the topic of 40 days and I am not particularly experienced in them. It probably makes no sense to curtain mirrors or not cut a round one. It’s good to start this day with a visit to church, come early to confess and take part in the liturgy. During the liturgy, ask the priest to remember your deceased. After the liturgy, you can ask to serve a memorial service or a short litany. Then you can go to the cemetery, tidy up the grave, and perform a short prayer there.

You can gather relatives, guests, and arrange a feast. We won’t talk here about the fact that you don’t need to get drunk: you don’t need to get drunk not only on this 40th day, but in any case.

If the 40th day falls on weekdays, then all these events can be postponed to the next weekend or the day when such an opportunity arises.

We honor the 40th day because Christ, Who was a perfect Man (He was the God-Man, but he was fully a perfect Man), ascended on the 40th day. Therefore, we believe that the soul of a person after death somehow remains here with us for 40 days.

What can you do 40 days after death?

Hieromonk Dimitri (Pershin), deputy chairman of the Brotherhood of Orthodox Pathfinders, editor-in-chief of the Sretenie television company, cleric of the Krutitsky Patriarchal Metochion in Moscow

After 40 days of death, we can continue to remember the deceased during services in church, live church life, receive communion, and at home privately read the Psalter about the deceased.

Funeral service on the 40th day after death

Priest Alexey Zabelin, teacher at the Moscow Theological Academy, Russian Orthodox University, Sretensky Theological Seminary, cleric of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Fedosino, Moscow

It’s good when relatives and friends can come to church on the eve of the 40th day to submit notes and confess, and on the 40th day itself take communion and pray for the deceased in the church and in the cemetery. This is much more important than the feast and wake itself, which often fill up all the time with their vanity, which would be worth devoting to prayer for the newly deceased.

It is important that the wake prayerfully unites those who care about the deceased, so that a peaceful, reverent mood is preserved not only in the church and in the cemetery, but is also transmitted to those who could only come to the wake.

What do you do on the 40th day after death?

Priest Alexey Zabelin, teacher at the Moscow Theological Academy, Russian Orthodox University, Sretensky Theological Seminary, cleric of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Fedosino, Moscow

Firstly, it is important that relatives and friends of the deceased come to the temple and pray for him. The best thing we can do on the 40th day after death is prayer at the liturgy of those who are preparing to receive communion, understanding how important this day is for the deceased.

And only secondly do we think that it is good for those praying to receive refreshments on his behalf. It is important for the newly deceased that there be joy in this life of ours. And with his death, he wants to bring not only sadness to his loved ones and relatives, but also consolation. Therefore, for 40 days, relatives and everyone who wants to help them prepare a meal. There is no special menu for a wake: you can prepare all the products that are appropriate to put on the table. From Lenten to non-Lenten, which depends on the specific date and church calendar. The main thing is that those who care about the deceased can gather and remember.

I am against remembering the dead with alcohol. Because very often I witnessed how alcohol disfigures the human appearance of those commemorating, and the funeral ends with a head in a salad. People get drunk, take liberties, obscene behavior and words, and the wake turns into prayers and kind words about the deceased into an argument and almost a fight. this is certainly unacceptable.

If you imagine the ideal 40th day, then this is the one when all relatives, loved ones and friends start it in church, confess and take communion, pray for the deceased at a memorial service, then go to the cemetery and gather at home for the funeral.

Prayer for 40 days

Priest Alexey Zabelin, teacher at the Moscow Theological Academy, Russian Orthodox University, Sretensky Theological Seminary, cleric of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Fedosino, Moscow

There are no special prayers for the 40th day. It is good if the relatives of the deceased find the opportunity to prepare for communion on the 40th day after the death of their loved one. Then they will come to church the day before for confession, and on the 40th day they will be able to pray at the liturgy for the newly deceased, then they will order a short litia or requiem service. The text of the liturgy (which includes a prayer for the departed) and the text of the funeral service (litia or memorial service) are available on the website of the Thomas magazine. You can familiarize yourself with them the day before and clarify anything that is not clear with the priest of the temple you usually go to.

What prayers are read after the 40th day?

Priest Alexander Savin, cleric of the Church of the Holy Blessed Tsarevich Demetrius, Moscow

A believer, a Christian, reads the morning and evening prayers daily. And at the end of the morning rule there is a commemoration of relatives and friends, living and deceased. Reading the morning rule and remembering your departed ones at the end of it is the minimum that can be in the life of a Christian. On Sunday, when we come to the liturgy, we can submit notes to remember those whom we want. If a person has a special experience of grief, then it is during the liturgy on Sundays that you can pray for your deceased loved one.

It is best if you can approach the priest in the temple and talk about what is bothering you. Each of us has our own measure, including prayers. And it is difficult to give universal advice, especially if a person feels the need for additional, special prayer for the deceased. In a conversation with a priest, it is easier to understand the measure and advise something more specific.

Most often we read the Psalter for the deceased, where inside each kathisma we insert after each “Glory” a specific prayer for the deceased. This is the most common form of additional commemoration of the dead. But here it is important to understand that in spiritual life the principles of constancy and gradualness are paramount. If you understand how much a person can pray, then you need to try to follow this. Otherwise, a person can gain beyond his strength, unprepared, then, unfortunately, he can give up everything. At first there will be a lot, and then there will be absolutely nothing left of prayer. This is, of course, bad. This is why spiritual advice and following one’s own measure are so important. This is best determined in a conversation with a priest, and ideally with a confessor.

40 days after death: traditions

Priest Alexey Zabelin, teacher at the Moscow Theological Academy, Russian Orthodox University, Sretensky Theological Seminary, cleric of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Fedosino, Moscow

40 days is a tithe of the year. Abba Dorotheos wrote about this. 40 days is our sacrifice to God, that deep prayer that is performed by the church for the deceased.

I am sometimes asked if mirrors need to be hung up for 40 days after death. The question is interesting, not at all mystical, although many are trying to talk about some kind of magic. This is done so as not to have fun during these 40 days. Just 100 years ago, a mirror was a form of entertainment. There was no TV or radio then. Now I would say: turn off the Internet for 40 days, and devote the time remaining from visiting social networks to prayer for your loved one. This will be the same as “curtaining the mirrors.”

There is also a pagan custom of “feeding the soul of the deceased,” which is not accepted in Orthodoxy. The ancient Romans (and many still!) believed that the soul was on the grave and needed to be fed. Therefore, they left food on the grave and poured alcohol on the grave so that the soul could be nourished. We are talking about the fact that the soul of the deceased goes to Christ and the most important and best “nourishment” for it is a request to God, that the Lord show mercy and, regardless of the voluntary or involuntary sins of the deceased, accept him to himself. Here you no longer need any physical things: food, some rags to get dressed. The deceased does not need this. He will not take this with him to another world. But it would be nice to give the food to the poor.

Is it true that you can't shave for 40 days after death?

Priest Mikhail Senin, rector of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Polivanovo, Moscow

This is the first time I’ve heard that you can’t shave for 40 days after death. What nonsense! Following this stupidity, let us then not wash ourselves, not comb our hair, not change clothes, not do laundry, not clean, not wash the floors, etc.

The first thing the relatives of the deceased should do is think about themselves. That death awaits each of us. Think about the meaning of life, about eternity, and about how I can now help the deceased. And I can help with prayer, which will be useful for me as well. There is a wonderful book of Psalms. This is where you should start, especially the first 40 days after the death of a relative.

Is it true that you cannot remove photos of the deceased until 40 days after death?

Priest Nikolai Petrov, cleric of the Church of the Holy Blessed Tsarevich Demetrius at the First City Hospital in Moscow, teacher of the St. Dimitrievsky School of Sisters of Mercy and the St. Dimitrievsky Secondary School in Moscow

Of course, these are all superstitions; you can remove the photograph of the deceased until the 40th day. Simple people They believe that the soul stays on earth for 40 days, next to relatives and in the place in which he lived. Therefore, they leave not only a photograph, but also food, do not touch things, and something else. But there is no indication of this either in the Holy Scriptures or even in the Tradition of the Church. All these superstitions have no meaning: the photograph can be hung immediately or not removed anywhere at all, things can be distributed or stored as a memory, the room can be used for its intended purpose and without restrictions. It is assumed that within 40 days a person’s soul undergoes a special test and requires special prayer help, which has nothing to do with the material things of the deceased.

Can repairs be made up to 40 days after death?

IN Orthodox Church There is no ban on household chores until the 40th day after death. But during this period it would be more appropriate to pray for the soul of the deceased in church and at home, order memorial services, magpies, read the Psalter, ask the Creator for mercy towards the deceased, for the cleansing of his soul from sins.

The Church does not have strict instructions and regulations for such everyday situations as repairs. Much becomes clearer as a result of a simple conversation with a priest, do not forget about it. Nowadays, we too often look for answers from priests on the Internet, when it would be much more effective to go to the nearest temple and talk.

Can a wedding take place no earlier than 40 days after death?

Archpriest Alexander Chikirov, rector of the Church of the Intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the village of Mordovian Pimbur, Zubovo-Polyansky district, Republic of Mordovia

It is difficult to answer such a question from a distance without knowing all your circumstances. Therefore, it is best for you to contact the priest personally, so that after describing the situation, you can clarify everything that worries or confuses you.

Most likely we are talking about the death of distant relatives. Because after the death of parents, people close and dear to the bride and groom, such a question will not be asked... Traditionally, within 40 days after the death of a loved one, we try to take communion, pray for the deceased in church, and do good deeds in his memory. And a wedding usually requires preparation, time and effort, so it’s better to postpone it for a while.

How do you spend the 40th day after death?

Priest Fyodor Lukyanov, clergyman of the Church of All Saints on Filevskaya Poima, Moscow

If we think first of all about the deceased, then it is better to prepare in advance for the 40th day after death: confess and receive communion. On the 40th day, you can invite a priest to serve a memorial service for the deceased, if possible a lithium in the cemetery. Usually after this the funeral table is set; the choice of products depends on whether there is fasting or not.

The deceased is not remembered with alcoholic drinks, although there is no strict ban on alcohol, but it is human nature to abuse it, especially when emotions and feelings are at their limit and are looking for “release.” Funerals involve not only remembrance of the newly deceased, but also remembrance so that everyone who comes to the meal prays for him. People often forget about this and it turns out that the wake turns into a kind of offering to themselves, more like self-pity “we loved him so much, but he left us.” And commemoration should be aimed at helping the departed: we gathered everyone, fed everyone, remember him in your prayers! This should be the main idea of ​​the funeral table - prayer. Therefore, all funeral meals should pursue precisely this goal. And when alcohol appears on the table, unfortunately, people often cannot stop. Therefore, it is better to avoid this temptation so that the wake does not turn into even worse for the deceased.

Akathist 40 days after death

The generally accepted practice recorded by the Church of commemorating the deceased at private prayer consists of commemoration at the morning and evening rules, as well as reading the Psalter with funeral prayers after each “Glory” for 40 days from the date of death. We find this order of reading the Psalter in the publication of this book by the Moscow Patriarchate in 1973. In the words of St. Ambrose of Optina: “You will see through experience how great the power of the inspired psalm words is, which scorch and drive away mental enemies like flame.”

Thus, it is better to adhere to the prayer practice of the Church, based on the Holy Scriptures, rather than prayerfully experiment with Akathists, many of which are often closer to, albeit pious, but still folk art.

How to pray until 40 days after death

Archpriest Gennady Ursov, rector of the Church of the Archangel Michael. Shiringushi of the Krasnoslobodsk diocese of the Mordovian Metropolis

Until 40 days, we try to pray intensely for the deceased. It is advisable to do this daily, at least briefly, “Remember, O Lord, the soul of your departed servant.” If possible, read the psalter, akathist for the one who died. Relatives and friends can order masses, magpies, and memorial services in monasteries and churches. When a loved one leaves, grief paralyzes us, but it is prayer and asking for it that supports us at first. Many people are helped to fill this “emptiness” by visiting holy places and personal prayer in church, because the closer we ourselves are to God, the “louder and stronger” our prayer for loved ones. Unfortunately, people often get too deeply involved in their grief or in the everyday fuss around the funeral, forgetting about the need to participate in the sacraments, putting off or “not finding the opportunity” for confession and communion.

A continuation, part of our prayer for the newly deceased is our good deeds, which can be expressed in the form of alms and alms for this person. If there is no financial opportunity, we can donate our time or skills: for example, help a large family or those who need your skills and strengths. Of course, the believers whom you help will respond to your request and will pray for your dear deceased.

Menu 40 days after death

Priest Nikolai Petrov, cleric of the Church of the Holy Blessed Tsarevich Demetrius at the First City Hospital in Moscow, teacher of the St. Dimitrievsky School of Sisters of Mercy and the St. Dimitrievsky Secondary School in Moscow

The meaning of a memorial meal - be it for 40 days, on the anniversary of death, on the day of the deceased angel - is that in memory of this person we are going to pray for his soul. Meals help bring people together. Nowadays for some reason they pay special meaning menu for 40 days after death. But in fact, the fate of the deceased does not depend on the abundance of food prepared for his wake after the funeral, for 9 days or 40 days. On the 40th day, family and friends gather to remember the newly deceased, pray for him, and please each other with refreshments whenever possible. If the family is limited in funds, then the simplest food will be appropriate. First of all, you should be guided by the traditions of your family when choosing a menu: if relatives do not understand the lack of pancakes, then it is better to cook them so as not to offend people. But the menu itself does not mean anything and does not in any way affect the fate of the deceased in eternity.

Often the funeral meal includes kutya, kolivo or sochivo - a sweet treat, almost identical in composition, which is prepared for church parishioners, and not necessarily in memory of the deceased. This could be the name day of a living person or any other holiday. This is where the tradition of treating church parishioners who came on an important day to candy came from, asking for their prayers.

As for food and the attitude towards it, it is important to note that you can treat those who come to the funeral at home or in any other place. There is no such strict tradition of remembering the dead in the cemetery. You should not leave food at the grave, since the deceased will not eat. In this case, it is better to feed the beggars, who can often be found near the cemetery or temple.

What to prepare for 40 days after death

Priest Andrey Missyura, cleric of the Church of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos, New Sinai Monastery, Sunzha, Republic of Ingushetia, Makhachkala and Grozny diocese

Kolivo or kutia is prepared according to custom, which is brought to the temple for a memorial service and blessed by the priest before being placed on the table. We find an indication of this in the “Handbook of a Clergyman” by S.V. Bulgakov. Otherwise, the memorial meal, organized for the relatives and friends of the deceased or for the purposes of mercy for those in need, remains at the discretion of the organizers, taking into account the availability of fasting on that day and compliance with the rules Christian piety(large amounts of alcohol at a wake are completely inappropriate).

Ladder for 40 days after death

Priest Nikolai Petrov, cleric of the Church of the Holy Blessed Tsarevich Demetrius at the First City Hospital in Moscow, teacher of the St. Dimitrievsky School of Sisters of Mercy and the St. Dimitrievsky Secondary School in Moscow

Indeed, there is a tradition of cooking, baking “ladder” dough, but it is associated with Lent, with the week dedicated to St. John the Climacus. Similar pious customs of preparing one or another treat from dough for the holiday are associated, for example, with the memory of the forty martyrs of Sebaste (larks are baked) or with the preparation of kutya as a treat.

How can the ladder be connected with 40 days after death? There is definitely no theological explanation for this custom. The only thing I would like to warn against is a magical attitude towards certain traditions. Unfortunately, many perceive even church customs magically: for example, supposedly if you do not sprinkle sand on the body of the deceased, then his soul “will not rest.”

The main thing that can help the deceased is our prayer for them. Only turning to God with faith can really alleviate the fate of our deceased loved ones. Because the most important thing we are called to do for the newly deceased is to show our love. If baking a ladder of dough for 40 days was customary in your family or locality, then there is nothing wrong with it, it can be a manifestation of love for those relatives for whom this tradition is important.

The death of a loved one is a great grief for a family. Relatives are grieving and sad. They want to know where the soul goes after 40 days, how to behave and what to say. There are many unresolved questions to which we would like to find answers. The article will talk about this in detail and highlight important points.

During life, the body and soul of a person are inseparable. Death is a stop for the body, as well. Up to 40 days there are “walks” through heaven and hell. The “excursion” to paradise is much shorter. It is believed that during a lifetime more bad deeds are committed than good ones.

The ordeal begins in hell. There are twenty of them. This is a difficult and responsible stage. A kind of exam that tests all passions. How strong are they in terms of the degree of evil. For example, take the passion for theft. One takes small money from the pocket of a friend or acquaintance, another falsifies documents, the third takes large bribes.

Laziness, envy, pride, anger, lies and other ordeals are a test of how much the devil has mastered a person. The devil cannot captivate the human soul, but by dominating the soul, he shows its failure before the Kingdom of the saints. Therefore, when going through ordeals, it becomes clear whether there was unity with God and with the laws prescribed in the Bible.

While living on earth, a person can repent and ask for forgiveness for his sins. The Lord will accept every sinner who prays sincerely. The afterlife does not provide such a chance. Everything is clear here: what you do is what you get. Therefore, when analyzing actions, the slightest offense is taken into account.

What does the 40th day after death mean?

On the 40th day, the soul appears before God's judgment. A guardian angel becomes her lawyer, who protects a person throughout his life. He brings out good deeds, and the sentence becomes more lenient. If the activity was commensurate with pure thoughts, then the punishment is not too severe.

The torment of hell is avoided by doing the right thing. But in modern world it's hard to resist temptations. If you adhere to God’s basic rules, do good deeds and take communion at the slightest deviation from the right path, the trials will pass easier and faster. A person should think about the upcoming ordeals so as not to subject his soul to difficult tests.

After 40 days, the soul is given the right to return to earth, go around its native places and say goodbye forever to those who are especially dear. Usually the relatives of the deceased no longer feel his presence. Going to heaven, the soul makes the decision that the court made for the deeds committed during life: a dark abyss or eternal light.

For the deceased, the prayer of relatives is the best show of boundless love. In monasteries where services are held every day, you can order Sorokoust (daily commemoration for 40 days). The word of prayer is like a drop of water in the desert.

Actions of relatives up to 40 days

• Do not touch anything in the deceased's room.
• Don't share things.
• Don't say bad words about him.
• Try to do good deeds on behalf of the deceased.
• Read prayers and fast during these days.

Where does the soul go after 40 days? This is a kind of milestone, after which she goes to heaven or hell. But we must understand that hell is not the end point. Thanks to attention and the desire to intercede, the fate of the soul is sometimes changed for the deceased. During the Last Judgment, a revaluation of all people will occur, and the fate of everyone will depend on their own actions and activities in society and family. Don't miss the time to change and take the righteous path.