Personalities. And the reason for this desire is obvious. After all, being courageous individuals, we can move mountains, achieve the impossible, take our lives to a qualitatively new level, live a rich life, and so on, the list can be endless. I think you yourself understand perfectly well what new horizons will open before you when you you will become a brave person. But becoming brave is not an easy task. After all, in order to become brave, you first have to constantly and. Therefore, in this article I will talk about ways that will simplify the process of becoming a brave person.

You just need to familiarize yourself with them, put them into practice and then you are guaranteed to become brave.

How to become brave?

The first and most banal advice I will give you is a psychological attitude. The psychological or mental attitude should not be underestimated. This is where it all begins. One famous writer named Mason John said: “Your day will be exactly the same as the tips of your lips.”. Psychologists have proven that 90% of the results lie in the mental attitude, and the remaining 10% are skills and abilities. So don’t underestimate words and the RIGHT ATTITUDE. I know that many of us, and sometimes even me, think that this is complete nonsense, and nothing depends on the psychological mood. But in vain! To become brave, you will have to program yourself in advance for a positive outcome.

I’ll even give an example on this matter. Let's say two work colleagues - Petya and Vanya - ask their boss for a salary increase. Petya is determined to get an increase, since he has a reason - his second son was born and he now needs money. In addition, he knows very well that he is a good worker and his boss treats him well and will understand him. Petya already clearly knows what he will say and how he will behave so that the negotiations end in his favor. Petya says to himself: "I will succeed!!!", “I am worthy of this!!!”, "I will do it!!!". I’ll say right away that Petya is nervous before the conversation. It's quite normal!!!

Now let's talk about Van. Vanya is an insecure person who constantly doubts something, and who is terrified of looking like a fool in the eyes of other people. However, looking at Petya, he also thinks that he should try his hand. But he scrolls through negative scenarios in his head, which makes him feel sick. He says to himself: “Here, he’ll fire me for this request, or he’ll laugh at me, or he’ll ignore me altogether. Or maybe he’ll create a scandal and lose his salary for a month.”.

What do you think will happen to the brave and confident Petya? There are several options. He will either receive a raise, or will receive it if he fulfills the requirements of his boss, or will not receive it this time, but will receive it next time.

What will happen to Vanya? There are also several options. But I think 75% that he will abandon this idea. , which he brought upon himself, will devour him. The remaining 25% - he will not succeed. If you have any of your own options about Vanya, write in the comments.

I hope from this example you understand how powerful a psychological attitude is. However, in order to become brave- one attitude is not enough.

How to become a brave person?

The second piece of advice that will help you become brave is to trust yourself. I know that it is very difficult to just believe in yourself after 42 failed attempts. Let me break down this advice. To believe in yourself, you must forget about how other people evaluate you. You must stop judging yourself. When you begin to evaluate yourself, when you begin to delve into the past and remember your own, when you begin to listen to other people's advice, you begin to create doubts. Doubts are not characteristic of a brave person, but faith is the absence of doubts. So start believing in yourself. If it worked for someone, it will work for you too. You are no worse than others. Everything is in yours and only in your hands.

The next piece of advice for becoming bolder is to face your fears as often as possible. A brave person is not one who is not afraid of anything, a brave person is one who... I fully understand that this advice is the most difficult to use. Just understand that if you avoid your fears, you will never become brave. Fear disappears when you overcome it several times.

I'll give you my example. I'm afraid to fly on an airplane. Every time I take off, my body becomes weak. I look at the flight attendants and don’t understand how they can stand it. After arriving, I hugged the earth and swore to myself that I would never fly again, and every time I broke this oath. I understand perfectly well that in order for me to have a great rest, I need to be in another country (for example, in Turkey or Egypt). And without an airplane it is impossible to do this. And so, every summer I flew to another country with my fear. After ten flights my fear subsided, and after sixteen flights my fear disappeared. I realized that nothing bad would happen to me. In addition, I heard on TV that the planes and trains with which accidents occurred were filled to a maximum of 60%. And if I see that the plane is completely full, then I can sleep peacefully!!!

I overcame my fear, which means became bolder than before. As Sylvester told Stallone: “Everyone has fears and when we overcome them, we become courageous.”. So if you really want to become brave, don't avoid your fears, but overcome them.

The fourth tip is to accept defeat. Many people are afraid to do anything because they are afraid of making a mistake. Personally, I have learned to accept defeat. Before I do anything, I replay the failure in my head several times. When I do this, I feel like crap. After replaying the negative scenario several times, I feel like I have nothing to fear. Fear seems to be letting go of me. Then I do the opposite - I tune in to a positive outcome, and then just . This combination is very effective, since you accept defeat in advance.

The fifth tip to become brave is to get to know each other and communicate more. You are probably thinking how this advice can help you. In fact, many people are afraid to meet people. Man is designed in such a way that he is always afraid of the unknown. Maybe you like a specific person and want to talk to him, but you don’t have the courage to approach him first or you don’t have the courage to be the first one. This is where you have a chance to show courage. I will not describe this advice, since I wrote about communication in an article - I will only say one thing, communication allows you to fear, and this makes you bolder.

The sixth tip is to praise yourself. If you overcame your fear and did something that you haven’t dared for so long, be sure to praise yourself to consolidate your victory in your memory. After several victories, you will feel bolder, more confident, and your... Most people beat themselves up for failures and never praise themselves for victories. Therefore, uncertainty grows and courage disappears. Always praise yourself and celebrate your victories.

The seventh tip is to try something new as often as possible. Novelty develops courage, as it requires. For example, you decide to go to a club. You have never gone to clubs before, and therefore anxiety arises at the mere thought of going to a club. But there will still be strangers there, and you never know what’s on their mind!!! This is where your chance to show courage comes. After several trips to the club, you will become easier to relate to this. At first it will be scary - then it will be normal. Trying something new makes you bolder. And now you know why!!!

The eighth and final tip is to take risks. It’s better to do it and fail than not to do it at all. Any mistake is your experience from which you can benefit. Doing nothing will not help you become braver. And you yourself know that people who don’t take risks don’t drink champagne. TAKE RISKS!!!

That's it for the article “How to become brave?” has come to an end. If you have your own tips, write them in the comments or on. Let's discuss this together!!!

And remember courage is the one who acts against his fear. This is the only way to become a truly brave person.

How to become brave, how to become bolder, how to become a brave person

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Very often we hear calls to be decisive, to be brave. In principle, we understand what is expected of us, but in fact we do not fully understand what exactly this means. We understand that a little courage would not hurt us at certain moments in our lives, but why do we need to be decisive and courageous in general. After all, for the majority, determination and courage are forever equated with risk, often unjustified.

First, let's figure out what kind of animals Decisiveness and Courage are.

What is Determination?

Decisiveness is a person’s ability to independently make decisions and take actions in support of these decisions. One way or another, we all make decisions, but a person with decisiveness makes them faster than others. His determination gives him the strength to take control of future events in his life. Determination, like armor, protects a person from uncertainty and the unknown of the future.

A person with decisiveness is able to begin to act immediately, immediately after making a decision. And this does not always mean that the decision is correct or he knows what to do, no, or he does not doubt and is not afraid. A decisive person is able to quickly make a decision in order to begin to act quickly and get the first results of these actions to analyze further decisions. While others are still thinking about making a decision, modeling possible developments of events, a decisive person already has specific, non-theoretical knowledge. Even if everything is not going smoothly there, he moves on to the next step and is faced with making the next decision.

What is Courage?

Courage is a person's ability to overcome his fear. It should be noted here that everyone experiences fear. Only fools are not afraid. And courage proves this when a person commits acts and actions, going despite his fear, overcoming it, and not suppressing it. Otherwise, he turns into a fool who denies fear rather than cooperates with it. Suppression or denial does not get rid of fear, but only makes it uncontrollable and unpredictable; it is unknown at what moment it will jump out and take its toll, but it will. Courage allows a person to be stronger than his fears. Only a brave person is able to discern additional information behind fear and accept it as an ally.

So why do you need courage and determination?

Since ancient times, the main task of our brain has been to preserve our lives, our safety and our offspring. And fear was an integral part of successful survival. All unusual sounds, suspicious herbs, flowers could carry mortal danger. If ancient man had ignored the danger, we simply would not exist. Courage was not a choice, but a necessity for survival purposes (getting food, protecting yourself from wild animals).

In the modern world, our lives and security in general are not threatened. There are no wild animals, food is sold in the store, ready to eat. To show or not to show determination and courage is our choice, but it is not a necessity, I mean that there is no strict motivation for survival. Today we strive to improve the quality of our life, improve the material component, enjoy tasty, beautiful and high-quality food, comfort, surround ourselves with beautiful things and views, take care of our health, prolonging life.

Therefore, courage and determination are especially in demand in the modern world. We admire and envy those who possess these qualities or even simply perform bold, decisive actions. People like these show us that there is more to life than mere survival.

Despite the fact that determination and courage seem to be similar qualities, both of them are needed to achieve goals, to make bold and ambitious decisions. How often does it happen that a person makes a decision, is confident in it, wants to implement it, his imagination is already painting him pictures of a wonderful, successful future, and now he is ready to take the first steps to support the decision with specific actions, when suddenly... fears appear on the horizon .

Determination allows a person to make a final decision, but, as often happens, even the most firm decision cannot withstand the strength and power of our fears, apprehensions and worries.

And overcoming fears requires courage. The courage to look them in the face, remembering that a firm decision has already been made and there is nowhere to retreat (wild animals are behind). Courage allows a person to act when afraid. Act taking into account not only the bright and colorful future, but also the experience of the past. With an understanding of possible difficulties, in order to prepare for them, ambiguities, in order to clarify them for yourself in advance. Fear draws attention to the “fine” aspects of the plan, helping to strengthen them.

Conclusion.

To one degree or another, determination and courage are inherent in the character of every person. If you have ever decided to start living on Monday or quit smoking, you are familiar with the feeling of a determined person, well, everyone who has at least once been at an interview or passed an exam and pulled a ticket is familiar with courage. And it doesn’t matter how developed these qualities are in you, because first of all they are qualities, which means they can be developed, strengthened and strengthened, “pumped up” like muscles, if you want.

And I will tell you how to do this in the next article.

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What is courage

1. Courage is the ability to look at a situation soberly and cope with emotions (for example, fear, uncertainty)
2. Courage is strength. A brave person does not need self-affirmation, he knows what he is capable of, he is calm and firm.
3. Courage is the ability to take responsibility; only brave people win battles and rule states.
4. Courage is one of the best qualities inherent in a person; It is from courage that comes the readiness to defend one’s interests, one’s loved ones, one’s business and one’s country.
5. Courage is the ability to make the right decisions regardless of the presence of fears.

The Benefits of Courage

• Courage inspires confidence – in one’s own abilities.
• Courage gives hope - for a better future.
• Courage gives freedom - from the oppressive feeling of fear.
• Courage gives independence - from the opinions of the crowd.
• Courage gives joy - the joy of being yourself.

How to become brave

Context: Fear is one of the most powerful human emotions. He warns not only about real, but also about imaginary danger that may haunt you on the path to success. Most often, fear is caused by our imagination. We can be afraid of anything: the dark, speaking in public, mice, spiders. Success directly depends on the ability to distinguish real from imaginary danger. And also on the ability to act in conditions of real danger. How to stop being afraid.

Problem: Determine where the danger comes from as quickly as possible and overcome fear.

Solution: Courage can be cultivated by working on your fears. It is necessary to analyze the situation, “weigh” the danger and threat, make a quick decision, and implement it.

What skills can you acquire:

1. The ability to analyze the current situation, weigh the degree of danger, and correctly classify the threat.
2. The ability to adopt courageous qualities from other people.
3. The ability to avoid danger.
4. The ability to control thoughts and feelings, the ability to control one’s own actions.
5. Using courage and determination, face danger head on.
6. The ability to go on the attack in time, because this is the best defense.
7. Try to fight your own phobias, if necessary, find the courage to consult a psychiatrist.
8. Treat your imaginary fears with humor.

1. Courage, like any other skill, can be developed. To do this, it is important to constantly work on eradicating fears.
2. A brave person is always confident in himself. But the opposite rule also works: believe in yourself - and you will gain courage!
3. Playing sports not only makes the body stronger, more dexterous and flexible, sports gives a person confidence and, as a result, courage.
4. If a person has a fear (phobia), then he can overcome it by “by contradiction.” Afraid of the dark - entering a dark room takes a step towards gaining courage; someone who is afraid of heights becomes more courageous when climbing high stairs.
5. Respect other people's opinions, but be ready to defend your own - this is the position of a truly brave person.

Similar features: determination, courage, bravery, self-control,
Recklessness is the vice of excess courage, cowardice is the vice of lack.

Quotes and Sayings about Courage

The dog barks at the brave, and bites the cowardly.

Russian proverb

You can always forgive yourself for mistakes if you only have the courage to admit them.

It is better to fight as an eagle than to live as a hare.

Russian proverb

In a country where there is order, be bold in both actions and speeches. In a country where there is no order, be bold in your actions, but careful in your speech.

Confucius

Courage is resistance to fear and control over fear, not the absence of fear.

The main topics of the article: courage and bravery, how to stop being afraid, how to gain courage, how to win, get rid of cowardice, how to become brave, the quality of brave people, how to be brave, I want to be brave.

We were all taught from childhood that “the city takes courage” through the example of fairy tales about heroes and adventure novels. But not all fairy tales explain how the characters managed to cultivate willpower and courage. It’s as if they were born brave and determined! In fact, this is how it was: the author’s imagination is free to endow fictional characters with any qualities. But what should we, ordinary people, do without innate valor and readiness for exploits 24 hours a day?

You have to cultivate self-confidence - day after day, through “I can’t” and “I don’t want” to go through victory over oneself, one’s own doubts and fears. Fortunately or unfortunately, this problem is so common that psychologists have already managed to study it and develop a number of recommendations on how to become bolder and more decisive. Therefore, on the path to fearlessness, you do not have to reinvent the wheel - you can use proven techniques. And this will not be a sign of cowardice - rather, it will maintain a balance between courage and common sense.

Confidence, courage, determination – who needs them and why?
Fear is not such a shameful character trait. Especially considering that it is intended by nature as a natural and, in fact, very useful defense mechanism. Just imagine what would happen to humanity if it were completely devoid of fear, apprehension, or at least doubt. It is possible that without these character traits, our distant ancestors would have fallen victims to their own recklessness and/or the saber-toothed tiger, into whose den they would have entered boldly and selflessly. So fear in itself is not bad and not at all shameful. One could even say that it accompanies such valuable traits as prudence and prudence. But at the same time, it is this seemingly useful and necessary tool of the psyche that hinders us in many life situations. It frightens us when we think about the future, prevents us from starting our own business, prevents us from meeting attractive representatives of the opposite sex, confuses our thoughts and words during interviews and stops us at the threshold of the director’s office, where we went to ask for a well-deserved salary increase.

At the same time, we generalize all the negative emotions that we experience in these and similar situations and conventionally call it fear. And then, just as automatically, we mentally (and sometimes out loud) begin to reproach ourselves for our cowardice. But in fact, the range of feelings that a person experiences before making (or not making) any decision is much wider. In order to distinguish between them, you need to come to your senses and realize your state, and then analyze it. Unfortunately, as a rule, there is no time and/or desire for this. But if we ourselves were more attentive to our sensations, we would learn to distinguish between them without much effort. In addition to a deeper understanding of oneself, this makes it possible to understand exactly what signals the subconscious gives us. But it “knows” much more than us, that is, the conscious part of our personality. In his arsenal of precautions and warnings, the following emotional tools are stored and regularly used:

1. Uncertainty. Characteristic of people who put other people's interests above their own. It seems to them that those around them are somehow better, smarter, more beautiful and/or simply worthy of more than themselves. This false attitude is ingrained in most of us in childhood and it is very difficult to get rid of it. Despite the fact that almost all people are insecure to one degree or another, this inner feeling makes them express themselves in very different ways. Some succumb to the complex and remain quiet and overly modest to their detriment. Others try to overcome their insecurities through bravado and ostentation, becoming unpleasantly brash individuals. And only a few find the strength to work on themselves in order to overcome uncertainty or at least find the levers for its conscious regulation. Often this requires the help of a professional psychologist. And the reward for effort is the opposite quality of uncertainty - self-confidence and self-confidence.
   
2. Indecisiveness. This feeling is experienced by those who are about to do something important, and its strength is directly proportional to the importance of the event. Accordingly, the harm that indecision causes to your possible successes also increases. For example, you have been receiving a salary of a certain amount for a year now, but prices are rising. In addition, you had a child, you have completed several projects beneficial to the company, and in general you want to receive more compensation for your work. Inspired by these arguments, you decide to talk to your boss about a raise tomorrow morning. But you stop in front of the door of his office and do not dare to go in. “How to start a conversation?”, “What if he doesn’t agree?”, “Maybe it’s better to wait a couple more months?” - these are approximately the thoughts spinning in your head. You'll see - because of them, you won't see a salary increase or even a bonus like your own ears. But if you ignore them and boldly go to the boss, act according to the circumstances and know what you want, then the reward will be the slow but sure development of determination - that is, the ability to go towards your intended goal through obstacles and achieve your plans.
   
3. Doubts. These are the thoughts that undermine your resolve with their imaginary rationality. They may indeed seem like just common sense arguments, although in fact they are your own excuses, motivated by uncertainty, fear of change, and even just plain laziness. Returning to the situation with a request for an increase in salary, it is easy to understand the mechanism of doubt. At the last moment, you suddenly feel like you haven’t done much to deserve a raise, that someone on your team deserves it more than you, that now is not the best time to talk to your boss, etc. and so on. Of course, in most cases you will follow this inner voice and abandon the planned conversation. Although, if you cope with your doubts, you will immediately understand how false they were. This new quality of character for you, the opposite of suspiciousness, is called fortitude.
   
4. Shyness. This is another one of the acquired, rather than innate, character traits. It has been noticed that every third child manifests it as they interact with society: first in kindergarten, then at school and throughout life. Timid children are afraid to answer at the board, timid teenagers are afraid to communicate with their peers. As a result, smart people do not receive the excellent grades they deserve, and good-looking people suffer from loneliness. It is up to parents to prevent shyness from taking root. With care, love, praise and their own example of communicating with friends, they can help the little shy person overcome shyness. This will largely determine the future, adult life of their heir and will help him gain self-confidence and self-love. The opposite of shyness is healthy relaxedness.
   
5. Fear. A natural regulator of behavior, the sensation of which is caused by certain hormones. The physiological characteristics of each organism provide varying degrees of “fearfulness”. Some people faint from fear at the sight of a mouse, others jump into the abyss on an elastic rope without fear. Both are extreme manifestations, and the golden mean allows you to behave reasonably and not run into trouble. The only question is to determine for yourself the appropriate boundaries of fear, beyond which it turns into excessive timidity, which prevents you from enjoying life. Courage as the opposite of fear is not always appropriate and not everywhere. It is needed by the military, doctors, climbers and representatives of other professions and sports associated with imminent danger.
   

Please note that of all the feelings listed above, only fear itself is our companion throughout life. As for other emotions, they appear later, as a person’s self-awareness develops and he analyzes himself and the world around him. Uncertainty, suspiciousness, and shyness arise when we compare ourselves with other people. Every time this comparison ends with a conclusion not in your favor, timidity intensifies and the habit of doubting, postponing and refusing what you want takes root in your character. In other words, with your thoughts, conclusions and decisions you yourself are preventing yourself from becoming bolder and more decisive. Of course, there are many methods for correcting behavior and even character. But all of them will be effective only if and only after you make an internal decision to cultivate courage in yourself.

Developing courage and determination
So, you're tired of turning down opportunities, wasting your dreams of success, and being bored alone. And this is very good, because it is the first step towards a new life in which you will be bolder, more determined and probably happier than you are today. But it won't come tomorrow. Or rather, it will come the sooner the more effort you put into it. But you will have to try. But isn't it worth it to become the person you want to be: confident, strong-willed, and even a little cocky? Moreover, working on yourself is one of the most rewarding types of work, because its result not only depends on you, but also completely belongs to you. Therefore, without delay, start making small but important victories over yourself, day by day gradually mastering the following useful skills:

1. Learn to set the right goals. Motivation is an extremely important, sometimes even determining component of success in any business. If a goal does not inspire you, then you most likely will not have the strength and desire to achieve it. For example, the formulation “I want to become brave and courageous” is too vague to work on its own. And if you specify it to “I want to become bold and courageous in order to invite Masha from the next department on a date,” then the goal takes on more understandable and attractive features. In general, in order to find the strength to fight, you must understand what you are fighting for and what rewards await you for your courage.
   
2. Don't be lazy. Very often, behind the uncertainty lies an ordinary reluctance to strain. The habit of laziness is relaxing, and at the right moment you simply will not be able to muster the courage to do the right thing. Therefore, in cultivating courage, as in making decisions, learn to overcome reluctance. It is not necessary to immediately storm the fortress - start with small steps that will gradually lead you to success. Win a small victory every day: smile at a passerby, give a compliment to a salesperson in a store, give your hand to a girl getting out of a vehicle. The regularity of such actions is much more important in self-education than great but rare “feats.”
   
3. Trust yourself. Every person has intuition, developed to a greater or lesser extent. Developed intuition is an excellent advisor and the basis for self-confidence. Learn to listen to your inner voice - the more often you do this, the more often it will be right. This way, you will have solid reasons not to doubt your decisions and confidently move towards your goals. Let your own opinion become the main one for you, and the advice of others only be auxiliary in any situation.
   
4. Trust others. This applies, first of all, to those people whose views on life coincide with yours. These are your friends, like-minded people and those people with whom you are not yet acquainted, but would like to establish contact. Well, don’t wait for an opportunity - get acquainted, show friendliness and be friendly with others. Even if you have negative experiences with peers, gained in childhood, when other children teased you or refused to accept you into the company. Now you are an adult and know how to distinguish good people from bad ones. Just believe that a good person will not harm you and will become a good friend if you yourself want it. But a bad person is not worthy of your communication anyway, and a conflict with him is a sign of fate and protection from potential troubles.
   
5. Become your own friend. Stop scolding yourself and making claims. Instead, praise yourself often. Let every achievement, no matter how small, become a reason for praise. This is exactly what true friends do: they support you in your endeavors and help you when things are difficult. Approval will definitely cement the positive experience in your memory, and each next step will be easier. And also celebrate victories over yourself. Pamper yourself, please with small pleasant gifts. Sincere self-love is the best basis for increasing self-esteem.
   
6. Don't be afraid of mistakes. Indecisiveness is often a reluctance to make mistakes. But there are simply no people who would never make mistakes and always do everything right. And you absolutely should not live up to unattainable ideals. Take risks, try something new. Use this technique: imagine the most unfortunate, undesirable outcome of the case in advance. Picture it in your mind and come to terms with it. Now that the worst is already “behind” it will be easier for you to decide to act. And you will see that in reality it will not turn into the fiasco that you feared.
   
7. Set your priorities. Correct prioritization helps combat doubts. In fact, what is more important to you: momentary weakness or potential results? As soon as the second pan of the scale becomes heavier, doubts will dissipate.
   
8. Take care of yourself. It will be much easier for you to overcome shyness if you are confident that you have something to offer others. We are talking about your experience, knowledge, skills. Read good literature, find an exciting hobby, take an interest in modern art. On the one hand, this will give you topics for small talk and reasons for making acquaintances. On the other hand, using the example of artistic plots, you will stop perceiving your own complexes as something unique, and you will borrow ideas and solutions to problems from the characters. In addition, taking care of your own body and intellect helps overcome insecurities. Sport fosters fortitude, proper nutrition and giving up bad habits - self-love.
   
9. Learn from others. Surely your personal fears seem uniquely large to you. But believe me, most people in the world tend to doubt themselves and exaggerate their own shortcomings. Try to observe more closely the people who seem to you to be models of determination. Find out more about their life and success story. It is possible that it contains overcoming fears and painstaking work on oneself. The next time you are faced with your own fear, imagine a brave person in your place. What would he do, what would he say? Try to “imitate” him, play his role. This trick often helps develop courage skills.
   

The main secret and at the same time a technique that helps overcome indecision is the gradual but continuous overcoming of internal resistance. Remember that most of your fears are imaginary, and they live solely in your imagination. The people you feel shy around in real life don’t even know that they evoke similar emotions in you. Well, don’t carry around the burden of something that doesn’t even exist! If you feel that you cannot cope with this task on your own, contact a specialist. But be very careful about your choice, because your internal harmony and mutual understanding with the outside world depend on the quality of the psychologist’s work. Avoid common trainings, most of which are unlikely to take into account your individual characteristics. And best of all, just believe in yourself and love first your fears as part of your personality, and then your whole self. Recognizing your own shortcomings is the first step towards getting rid of them. If you were able to do this, then you have already become a little bolder and more decisive, and more is only a matter of time.

Learning to be brave (if only to ask the person you like on a date) means more than just not being afraid. You must learn to act despite your own fears.

Steps

Part 1

Developing Courage

Control your fear. To become brave, you need to overcome your fears. Fear is a response to those situations in which your brain decides whether to fight or flee. At the same time, the brain begins to release the stress hormone cortisol into the nervous system, which puts the body under extreme tension. Fearfulness is a learned behavior based on body chemistry and reinforced by the environment that teaches a person to be afraid. The ability to overcome your fears and leave them behind comes down to proper training of thinking.

1. Get rid of indecision. The longer your brain tries to justify your cowardice, the more time you will spend panicking about hypothetical negative outcomes of the situation. If you need to catch a spider, jump out of a plane, ask someone out on a date, do it without hesitation, provided that you really intend to do it.

   • When you manage to overcome your fear, reinforce your success with encouragement. This can be expressed both in material rewards (for example, a bottle of good wine) and intangible ones (for example, in the form of taking a break from social communication and watching several episodes of your favorite TV show at once).

2. Be bold when asking someone out. When you ask someone out on a date, it's best to be direct, even if you're a little scared to be so open. Practice your words in advance. If possible, talk to your crush in private. Think about how good it would be to get consent. Isn't that the only reason it's worth the risk?

   • Remember, if you are told no, it will not have a negative impact on you or other people's perceptions of you. Treat rejection with respect and be proud of yourself for being brave!

3. Show courage when talking to your boss. Sometimes it’s scary to talk to your boss, especially if there are problems at work, and it’s also very uncomfortable to start conversations about finances. However, if you try to frame the conversation as a discussion rather than a confrontation, you can turn things around the way you want.

   • Ask for a private conversation and plan what you are going to say in advance. It's normal to feel nervous in this situation, so don't fight it. Just try to breathe normally and speak with conviction.
   • If the conversation angers your boss, step back and re-evaluate the situation. If you believe your position is correct, consider involving your company's HR department in resolving the issue.
   • Sometimes the best alternative may be to change jobs. Some people are extremely stubborn, and your decision not to fight every looming battle does not mean that you lack courage.

4. Show courage in standing up to bullying. If you are dealing with bullying, you need to project courage and confidence. This way you will deceive yourself (and others) by pretending that you are not afraid of anything. People who bully others like to be feared, so don't give them that pleasure. Act with confidence (even if you are not particularly confident).

   • If you continue to be bullied after you have stood up to them, seek help from your teachers or parents. Knowing when it's time to seek outside help is itself an act of courage. This demonstrates that you are being honest with yourself about your realistic assessment of the situation.

Part 3

Overcoming your own fears

1. Identify your fears. What exactly are you afraid of? Before you can begin to overcome fear and take courageous actions, you need to understand what scares you? People can be afraid of many things, such as the following:

   • heights;
   • snakes and/or spiders;
   • crowds;
   • speaking to the public;
   • water;
   • thunderstorms;
   • confined space.

2. Acknowledge your fears. After identifying your fears, you should not try to hide them somewhere deeper; you should not avoid them. It is unwise to convince yourself that you are not afraid, otherwise you will not be able to overcome your fear as quickly as possible. Instead, try to acknowledge that you have fears so that you can then overcome them in a productive way.

   • For example, you can admit your fears by writing them down on a piece of paper or saying them out loud.
   • You can also rate the strength of each specific fear on a scale from 0 to 100 (from no fear at all to very strong fear).

3. Try desensitizing yourself gradually. This technique allows you to slowly but with increasing confidence approach what you are afraid of.

   • For example, if you are afraid to leave the house, you can simply start putting on your shoes as if you were going out, but not go anywhere yet.
   • Then you can start opening the door and take a couple of steps from the threshold, then four steps, eight and then return home again.

4. Make an attempt to directly confront the fear. This method is also called the "immersion" method. Force yourself into the situation you fear and allow yourself to fully feel the fear. Feel it pulsating inside, watch it, but don't let it overcome you. You may find it helpful to start thinking about yourself in the third person, like this: “He seems really scared right now.”

   • If you use this method in a situation where you are afraid to leave the house, you will have to go outside and move a whole block away from the house on your first try. Then it will be necessary to analyze what happened in order to understand that being outside the four walls is not so bad.
   • Next, you will need to repeat the procedure until you are completely no longer afraid of the street.
   • The idea is to demonstrate to yourself that you shouldn't be afraid of your own actions. This method is especially effective in combating irrational fears.
   • When confronting bullies, be careful. There is no universal solution for all conflict situations, so sometimes it is better not to intervene.