Egor RADOV

WITHOUT REMOVING FROM YOUR MOUTH

1. TRIP TO AMERICA

Call me Suyunov. When I look at myself in the mirror, I am filled with delight, amazement and happiness. I touch my earlobes with my thumbs - and a languor of tenderness pierces me, like the first five seconds after the drug “Kobzon” is introduced into the canal of the penis. I touch my lobes with my palm and plunge into a sweet, endless peace, reminiscent of the peak of the action of HPZHSKUUKT. I jump up, grab my earlobes with my index finger and thumb, begin to masturbate, then unclenching them, then squeezing them again - and the premonition of a great, strong, huge orgasm envelops my head, plunging me into awe, bliss and passion; the lobes seem to fill me completely; I am completely transformed, losing the light in my eyes, understanding and shame; and the frantic end floods me all over, echoing with the pulsation of blood throughout the body, convulsive heartbeat and the pouring of seed inside. I don't think I got pregnant; I think I can feel the very moment of conception, self-insemination; and I’m afraid to die of love and happiness at this moment, and I’m afraid of this; and everything happens like magic. Oh, Ivan Teberda!

Today was good. I powdered my ears, combed my pubic area and zipped up my suitcase. I decided to fly to America - the country of homosexuals. I'm a monoliser. Monolyses make up about half of Russians and a quarter of Ukrainians. We fuck and get pregnant through earlobe masturbation. Americans are homosexuals. The Germans are armpit scratchers, the French are shit. Austrians are divided into men and women, Papuans distinguish twenty-nine genders. Teberda! I'm scared to think about the possibilities open to them. But perversion is prohibited. Born with monolysis - masturbate your ears. If you are a homosexual, act accordingly. I'm afraid of the laws, I'm afraid of cutting off my ears. They are so beautiful that as soon as I look in the mirror, I immediately get excited, and immediately start touching the lobes a little. And if this happens in public, it’s terrible. I have had to pay a fine more than once. Oh, Teberda!

As a child, when I started doing this at the table, I immediately received a deafening slap in the face from my parent.

Love alone! - he shouted at me a boring, well-known phrase written in every primer. - Don’t you understand Russian?!

“I understand,” I answered in fright.

So, go to the toilet and get on with it!

It stinks in there.

I do not care! - shouted the man who gave birth to me.

You must behave yourself! When I die, you will be left alone in the apartment, and at least jerk off!

Yesterday two husbands came to you to suck... - I said, crying.

Oh, you nit! - my vile father was furious. - I will give you!

And he hit me with a belt on my shoulders. When he was dying of indigestion, I strangled him to death. I wanted to cut off his disgusting ears that conceived me, which were much smaller than mine, but then I decided that this might arouse suspicion among the police. Our policemen were meticulous people. They were all Belarusians and had two vaginas per brother. When they needed to do “bye-bye”, they hugged, kissed, called each other “mashki” and each thrust two fingers of both hands into these vaginas. They could stand like that for hours. And constantly - kisses, "waves". No wonder they were nicknamed "mashki". I hated them, and they called us "earwigs" and constantly tried to catch us breaking the law of decency. One “Mashka” especially disliked me.

Hey you earwig! - he shouted to me. - Didn't you grab the lobe?

He walked towards me, stinking with his proudly exposed vaginas, which were filled with blood, like bulging eyes.

No way, my dear friend and friend! - I answered reluctantly.

Look, upere!.. - said “Mashka” and sedately walked away.

Oh, Teberda! How much they can mock me!

Today I decided to fly to America. There are homosexuals there, and I am a tourist. Yes, I want to get perverted. Yes, it costs a lot of money (Americans don’t care about anything except their tanned, manly butts). Yes, I made money from the disgusting Japanese who defecated in my mouth. Yes, I was almost caught with this, and I had to answer that I ate at my own place (how good it is that everyone’s shit tastes the same!). But I want to experience everything that I once saw as a child, spying on my parent, who spent all his decent money, earned by his grandfather, on various amusements. I want! And although you can find any pleasures and joys here, I don’t care. I just want to see another country; look at the skyscraper and touch the ass of the American Dream - their main monument standing somewhere there. And I flew.

2. ON THE PLANE

A flight attendant with a big dick on her forehead asked me:

Cognac, izolka, urine, shit, water?

“I want to prick myself,” I said timidly.

Boy, are you a fool, are you kidding me?! - she got angry. - Go quickly to the toilet, wait.

I stood up, but then the plane entered a sharp turn. I fell on some Vietnamese guy who resembled jelly, and he immediately began to envelop me, purring.

You are as affectionate as a pear in my country! - he exclaimed.

Go into the hollow! - I shouted. - I am Russian!

It emitted some kind of odorous substance that resembled glue. He was terribly lustful.

Are you flying to America, wise guy? - he purred. I couldn't get rid of this sticky human being. - There is freedom, there is everything. Are you a monoliser?!

Yes,” I answered aggressively.

And then this reptile began to irritate my ears with its tentacles or something else that secreted this very glue.

A! - I yelled. - I am not ready! I am very, very, very pleased!

The plane again made some kind of idiotic turn (obviously the pilots were doing “bye-bye”), and I was immediately thrown away from the Vietnamese.

Boy, are you here? - the flight attendant asked in surprise, whom I almost knocked over. She was heading towards the Japanese with the chamber pot.

I love you, my little human! - I said mockingly, touching my earlobes.

“Get there quickly,” the flight attendant said in a whisper.

I rushed to the toilet and locked myself in there. After some time there was a knock. I opened the door and a flight attendant came in with a huge syringe.

What is this? - I was dumbfounded.

This is "wan-wan"! - she said proudly. - The best substance, the latest achievement of underground businessmen. Injected into the spinal cord. Free for you, but you have to kiss me on the cheek.

Today I decided to fly to America. There are homosexuals there, and I am a tourist. Yes, I want to get perverted. Yes, it costs a lot of money (Americans don’t care about anything except their tanned, manly butts). Yes, I made money from the disgusting Japanese who defecated in my mouth. Yes, I was almost caught with this, and I had to answer that I ate at my own place (how good it is that everyone’s shit tastes the same!). But I want to experience everything that I once saw as a child, spying on my parent, who spent all his decent money, earned by his grandfather, on various amusements. I want! And although you can find any pleasures and joys here, I don’t care. I just want to see another country; look at the skyscraper and touch the ass of the American Dream - their main monument standing somewhere there. And I flew.

2. ON THE PLANE

A flight attendant with a big dick on her forehead asked me:

Cognac, izolka, urine, shit, water?

“I want to prick myself,” I said timidly.

Boy, are you a fool, are you kidding me?! - she got angry. - Go quickly to the toilet, wait.

I stood up, but then the plane entered a sharp turn. I fell on some Vietnamese guy who resembled jelly, and he immediately began to envelop me, purring.

You are as affectionate as a pear in my country! - he exclaimed.

Go into the hollow! - I shouted. - I am Russian!

It emitted some kind of odorous substance that resembled glue. He was terribly lustful.

Are you flying to America, wise guy? - he purred. I couldn't get rid of this sticky human being. - There is freedom, there is everything. Are you a monoliser?!

Yes,” I answered aggressively.

And then this reptile began to irritate my ears with its tentacles or something else that secreted this very glue.

A! - I yelled. - I am not ready! I am very, very, very pleased!

The plane again made some kind of idiotic turn (obviously the pilots were doing “bye-bye”), and I was immediately thrown away from the Vietnamese.

Boy, are you here? - the flight attendant asked in surprise, whom I almost knocked over. She was heading towards the Japanese with the chamber pot.

I love you, my little human! - I said mockingly, touching my earlobes.

“Get there quickly,” the flight attendant said in a whisper.

I rushed to the toilet and locked myself in there. After some time there was a knock. I opened the door and a flight attendant came in with a huge syringe.

What is this? - I was dumbfounded.

Without taking it out of your mouth

Egor RADOV

WITHOUT REMOVING FROM YOUR MOUTH

1. TRIP TO AMERICA

Call me Suyunov. When I look at myself in the mirror, I am filled with delight, amazement and happiness. I touch my earlobes with my thumbs - and a languor of tenderness pierces me, like the first five seconds after the drug “Kobzon” is introduced into the canal of the penis. I touch my lobes with my palm and plunge into a sweet, endless peace, reminiscent of the peak of the action of HPZHSKUUKT. I jump up, grab my earlobes with my index finger and thumb, begin to masturbate, then unclenching them, then squeezing them again - and the premonition of a great, strong, huge orgasm envelops my head, plunging me into awe, bliss and passion; the lobes seem to fill me completely; I am completely transformed, losing the light in my eyes, understanding and shame; and the frantic end floods me all over, echoing with the pulsation of blood throughout the body, convulsive heartbeat and the pouring of seed inside. I don't think I got pregnant; I think I can feel the very moment of conception, self-insemination; and I’m afraid to die of love and happiness at this moment, and I’m afraid of this; and everything happens like magic. Oh, Ivan Teberda!

Today was good. I powdered my ears, combed my pubic area and zipped up my suitcase. I decided to fly to America - the country of homosexuals. I'm a monoliser. Monolyses make up about half of Russians and a quarter of Ukrainians. We fuck and get pregnant through earlobe masturbation. Americans are homosexuals. The Germans are armpit scratchers, the French are shit. Austrians are divided into men and women, Papuans distinguish twenty-nine genders. Teberda! I'm scared to think about the possibilities open to them. But perversion is prohibited. Born with monolysis - masturbate your ears. If you are a homosexual, act accordingly. I'm afraid of the laws, I'm afraid of cutting off my ears. They are so beautiful that as soon as I look in the mirror, I immediately get excited, and immediately start touching the lobes a little. And if this happens in public, it’s terrible. I have had to pay a fine more than once. Oh, Teberda!

As a child, when I started doing this at the table, I immediately received a deafening slap in the face from my parent.

Love alone! - he shouted at me a boring, well-known phrase written in every primer. - Don’t you understand Russian?!

“I understand,” I answered in fright.

So, go to the toilet and get on with it!

It stinks in there.

I do not care! - shouted the man who gave birth to me.

You must behave yourself! When I die, you will be left alone in the apartment, and at least jerk off!

Yesterday two husbands came to you to suck... - I said, crying.

Oh, you nit! - my vile father was furious. - I will give you!

And he hit me with a belt on my shoulders. When he was dying of indigestion, I strangled him to death. I wanted to cut off his disgusting ears that conceived me, which were much smaller than mine, but then I decided that this might arouse suspicion among the police. Our policemen were meticulous people. They were all Belarusians and had two vaginas per brother. When they needed to do “bye-bye”, they hugged, kissed, called each other “mashki” and each thrust two fingers of both hands into these vaginas. They could stand like that for hours. And constantly - kisses, "waves". No wonder they were nicknamed "mashki". I hated them, and they called us "earwigs" and constantly tried to catch us breaking the law of decency. One “Mashka” especially disliked me.

Hey you earwig! - he shouted to me. - Didn't you grab the lobe?

He walked towards me, stinking with his proudly exposed vaginas, which were filled with blood, like bulging eyes.

No way, my dear friend and friend! - I answered reluctantly.

Look, upere!.. - said “Mashka” and sedately walked away.

Oh, Teberda! How much they can mock me!

Today I decided to fly to America. There are homosexuals there, and I am a tourist. Yes, I want to get perverted. Yes, it costs a lot of money (Americans don’t care about anything except their tanned, manly butts). Yes, I made money from the disgusting Japanese who defecated in my mouth. Yes, I was almost caught with this, and I had to answer that I ate at my own place (how good it is that everyone’s shit tastes the same!). But I want to experience everything that I once saw as a child, spying on my parent, who spent all his decent money, earned by his grandfather, on various amusements. I want! And although you can find any pleasures and joys here, I don’t care. I just want to see another country; look at the skyscraper and touch the ass of the American Dream - their main monument standing somewhere there. And I flew.

2. ON THE PLANE

A flight attendant with a big dick on her forehead asked me:

Cognac, izolka, urine, shit, water?

“I want to prick myself,” I said timidly.

Boy, are you a fool, are you kidding me?! - she got angry. - Go quickly to the toilet, wait.

I stood up, but then the plane entered a sharp turn. I fell on some Vietnamese guy who resembled jelly, and he immediately began to envelop me, purring.

You are as affectionate as a pear in my country! - he exclaimed.

Go into the hollow! - I shouted. - I am Russian!

It emitted some kind of odorous substance that resembled glue. He was terribly lustful.

Are you flying to America, wise guy? - he purred. I couldn't get rid of this sticky human being. - There is freedom, there is everything. Are you a monoliser?!

Yes,” I answered aggressively.

And then this reptile began to irritate my ears with its tentacles or something else that secreted this very glue.

A! - I yelled. - I am not ready! I am very, very, very pleased!

The plane again made some kind of idiotic turn (obviously the pilots were doing “bye-bye”), and I was immediately thrown away from the Vietnamese.

Boy, are you here? - the flight attendant asked in surprise, whom I almost knocked over. She was heading towards the Japanese with the chamber pot.

I love you, my little human! - I said mockingly, touching my earlobes.

“Get there quickly,” the flight attendant said in a whisper.

I rushed to the toilet and locked myself in there. After some time there was a knock. I opened the door and a flight attendant came in with a huge syringe.

What is this? - I was dumbfounded.

This is "wan-wan"! - she said proudly. - The best substance, the latest achievement of underground businessmen. Injected into the spinal cord. Free for you, but you have to kiss me on the cheek.

Please,” I said and kissed her.

She immediately turned red, the dick on her forehead became erect and her eyes filled with sperm.

Impossible... - she breathed out. - That's all... I don't know... I can't ask you more...

We agreed only for one time! - I said angrily, exposing my back. - Please follow the rules.

Well, okay, okay... - she babbled. - I just...

I felt a terrible pain, as if my back was being broken into two parts, but as soon as I wanted to turn around and hit this infection, such a frenzied pleasure, warmth and happiness immediately came that I fell straight onto the toilet floor, not paying attention to the fact that that he hit the back of his head on the toilet; and fell into some kind of sweet eternity, to which the simple word “paradise” is best suited.

And it’s not for nothing that this Dream is completely chaotic at first, because Throwing some Things and Documents into the Toilet in reality means a critical situation in reality, when the Material sphere of interests of the Dreamer greatly prevails over the Emotional one, and the Dreamer subconsciously equalizes their position in the Dream. Homemade Trousers, caught in the toilet, but saved by the Dreamer in dry and pure form- in reality symbolizes the state of Mental balance, coming from the balance of material (social) aspirations and Emotional desires (life for Oneself, for the Soul, peace of mind - emotional sphere). As a result, the Dreamer in reality must cope with all her tasks without harming herself and her Mental comfort (health). WITH

Dream Interpretation - I ate violet leaves in a dream

The dreamer is currently trying everything to her taste, learning something new and incomprehensible. The violets on the window are certain foundations and stereotypes that the Dreamer wants to “break” and try, despite the prohibitions (delicious juicy leaves - emotion/experience). The question is, what kind of window was in the dream? (rather, homely is homely foundations).

Dream Interpretation - Birds from the mouth

The saying immediately pops up: “A word is not a sparrow; if it flies out, you won’t catch it.” And also: “the word is silver, silence is gold.” Well, here you can go on for a long time, “My tongue is my enemy,” etc. In short, watch your words so you don’t regret it later. It could be your own or someone else’s secret, an insult, or a thoughtlessly thrown word that can offend a loved one.

Dream Interpretation - Maple leaf

It is possible that the dream is truly prophetic and your young man may soon prefer another. Nevertheless, another young man will help you out and support you, because receiving a maple leaf means receiving support and a helping hand in a difficult / unpleasant situation. It also seems that you have excellent intuition, which rarely lets you down, and a very strong guardian angel who protects you and warns you in your dreams. In general, the dream is positive. :) Best wishes.

Dream Interpretation - Bed, mice, cat, dry leaves

Most likely, your dream means minor problems related to your personal life. You are trying to eliminate the cause of this problem, but it is not yet completely clear to you. But in a dream you are given a hint - in order to create a new relationship, you need to remove the dried garbage of old relationships (or outdated attitudes that interfere with the establishment of normal relationships). All the best to you, Sincerely, Livia.

Dream Interpretation - Huge leaves and young shoots

Seeing a climbing plant in a dream means that there is a strong danger of becoming proud and starting to take signs of respect for granted. May promote an exaggerated opinion of oneself, begins to overpromise or promises more than it can deliver. A feeling of self-importance arises, which makes a person tactless, he begins to lecture everyone and poke his nose everywhere, which irritates those around him, and the person himself may have problems with the liver and weight.

Surely every old enough person has heard all these horror stories about how people put a light bulb in their mouth only to be convinced from their own experience that it was impossible to remove it without outside help. It’s sad, but true – such “enthusiasts” still exist in our time. However, why doesn’t Winnie the Pooh’s “in and out” rule apply with a light bulb in his mouth?
We immediately want to emphasize that this fact is not worth checking from your own experience. Placing a light bulb in the mouth can be dangerous to health and life. A lamp bursting in the mouth will inevitably lead to numerous serious injuries. Without timely medical care, all this can end in death. Moreover, it will not be possible to remove a light bulb from your mouth without the help of a qualified medical specialist.
Note: if you still really feel like checking and want to put a light bulb in your mouth, find a light bulb-shaped chocolate candy in a candy store. In this case, the “experiment” will be absolutely safe and even tasty. In the worst case scenario, the chocolate lamp will simply melt.
So why does this happen? If a light bulb goes into your mouth, why can't you pull it back out? The answer to this question is very simple. It's all about the muscles of the oral cavity. Until the light bulb enters the mouth, the muscles of the mouth are in a relaxed state. However, when a foreign object enters the cavity, the muscles tense and spasm occurs. You won't be able to relax your muscles on your own. Over time, the effect of the spasm only intensifies and the muscles clamp the lamp more and more tightly. Based on this, if you witness “eating a lamp” (not a chocolate one), immediately call an ambulance!